Handy Speaker. Nos. 1, 2, 3, i, 5 and 6, 50 Selections in each. Price 1.5 cents each. 

1^ 




CopyrlKht, 1876, by Qkobob M, Bakbb. 

Mrs. VTalthrop's Bacbelors. Comedy in Three Acts. Translated from Qerman by Oeorge M, 

Baker. 25 cents. 
The Fairy of the Fountain. Play for Little Folks. Two Acts. By George M. Baker. 25caBU. 
Coupon Bonds. Drama in Four Acts. Bv J. T. Trowbridge. 25 cents. 
Under a Veil. Ccimmedetta in One Act. By Sir Randal Roberts. 25 cents. 
Class Day. Farce in One Act. By Dr. F. A. Harris. 25 cents. 
Uncle Robert. Comedv in Three Acts. 7 male, 1 female character. 15 cents. 
The "Wile's Secret, flay in Five Acta. 9 male, 3 female characters. 15 cents. 
Xbe Virsiuia "Veteran. Drama in Four Acts. 11 male, 4 female charactera. SficeDtf. 



J^ 



Spencer's Universal Stage. 



A Collection of COMEDIES, DRAMAS, and FARCES, adapted to either Public or Private 
Performance. Containing a full description of all the 
jiecessary Stage Business. 
PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH, os- No Plays Exchanged. 



1. LOST IN LONDON. A Drama in 3 Acts. 

6 male, 4 female characters. 

2. NICHOLAS FLAM. A Comedy in 2 Acts. 

By J. B. Buckstoiie. 5 male, a female char. 

3. THE WELSH GIRL. A Comedy in 1 Act. 

By Mrs. Planche. 3 male, 2 female cliar. 

4. JOHN WOPPS. A Farce in 1 Act By 

W. E. Suter. 4 male, 2 female char. 

6. THE TTJKKISH BATH. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By Montague Williams and F. C. Burnaud. 
C male, 1 female char. 
e. THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS. AFarceinl 
Act. By J. M. Jlorton. 3 male, 3 female char. 

7. OLD HONESTY. A Comic Drama in 2 

Acts. By J. M. Morton. 5 male, 2 female char. 
B. TWO GENTLEMEN IN A Pi:}^ 



/! 



Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 2 male char. 
9. SMASHINGTON GOIT. A Farce in 1 Act. 
By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 3 female char. 
I TWO HEADS BETTER THAN ONE. A 
Farce in 1 Act. By L«nox Home. 4 male, 
1 female char. 

11. JOHN DOBBS. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. 

Morton. 5 mule, 2 female char. 

12. THE DAUGHTER of the REGIMENT. 

A Drama in 2 Acts. By Edward Fitzball, 
C male, 2 female char. 

15. AtTNT CHARLOTTE'S MAID. AFarceinl 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 
14. BROTHER BILL AND ME. A Farce in 

1 Act. By \V. E. .Suter. 4 male, 3 female char. 
\B. DONE ON BOTH SIDES. A Farce in 1 

Act. By J. SI. Morton. 3 male, 2 female char. 

16. DTTNDITCKETTY'S PICNIC. A Farce in 1 

Act. By T. J. Williams. G male, 3 female char. 

17. I'VE WRITTEN TO BROWNE. A Farce 

in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female 



19. MY PRECIOUS BETSY. A Farce in 1 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 4 male, 4 female char. 

20. MY TURN NEXT. A Farce in 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. 

22. THE PHANTOM BREAKFAST. A Farce 

in! Act. By Chas. Selby. 3 male, 2 female char. 

23. DANDELION'S DODGES. A Farce in 1 

Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. 

24. A SLICE OF LUCK. AFarceinl Act By 

J. M. Morton. 4 male, 2 female char. 

25. ALWAYS INTENDED. A Comedy in 1 

Act By Horace Wigan. 3male,3fei -.alechar. 
26 A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP. A Comedy 
in 2 Acts. By Charles Matthews. C male, 4 
female char. 

27. ANOTHER GLASS. A Drama in 1 Act By 

Thomas Jlorton. C male, 3 female char. 

28. BOWLED OUT. A Farce in 1 Act By H. 

T. Craven. 4 mule, 3 female char. 

29. COUSIN TOM. A Conmiedietta in 1 Act. By 

Geo. Roberts. 3 male, 2 female char. 

30. SARAH'S YOUNG MAN. A Farce in I 

Act. By W. E. Suter. 3 male, 3 female char. 

31. HIT HIM, HE HAS NO FRIENDS. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By E. Yates and N. 11. Har- 
rington. 7 male, 3 female char. 

32. THE CHRISTENING. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By J. B. Buckstunc. J male (i female char. 

33. A RACE FOR A WIDOW. A Farce in 1 

Act By T.J. Williams. 5 male, 4 female char. 

34. YOUR LIFE'S IN DANGER. A Farce in 

1 Act By J. JNI. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 

35. TRUE UNTO DEATH. A Drama in 2 Acts. 
f» By J. Sheridan Knowles. 6 mule, 2 female char. 

Df — 'tth"> Catalogjte vtailed free on application to 

«eo. M. imker, 41-45 Franklin St., Boston. 



36. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. An Interlude 

in 1 Act. By W. U. Murray. 10 male, 1 female 
char. 

37. LOOK AFTER BROWN. AFarceinl Act 

By George A. Stuart, M. D. 6 male, 1 female 
char. 



39. A 

F 

40. BROTHER BEN. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. 

M. Morion. 3 male, 3 female char. 

41. ONLY A CLOD. A Comic Drama in 1 Act 

By J. P. Simpson. 4 male, 1 female char. 

42. GASPARDO THE GONDOLIER. A 

Drama in 3 Acts. By George Almar. 10 male, 
2 female char. 

43. SUNSHINE THROUGH THE CLOUDS. 

A Drama in 1 Act. By Slicgsby Lawrence. 3 
male, 3 female char. 

44. DON'T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 2 
female char. 

45. NURSE Y CHI CKWEED. AFarceinl Act 

By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. 

46. MARY MOO ; or, Which shall I Marry? 

A Farce in 1 Act. By W. £. Suter. 2 male, 1 
female char. 

1 5 Acts. 8 mole, 

48. THE HIDDEN HAND. A Drama in 5 Acts. 

By Robert Jones. 16 male, 7 female char. 

49. SILVERSTONE'S WAGER. A Commedi- 

etta in 1 Act. By R. R. Andrews. 4 male, 3 fe- 
T male char. 

50. DORA. A Pastoral Drama inS Acts. By Chas. 

Reade. 6 male, 2 female char. 

55. THE WIFE'S SECRET. A Play in 5 Acts. 
By Geo. W. Lovell. 10 male, 2 female char. 

66. THE BABES IN THE WOOD. A Com- 
edy in 3 Acts, By Tom Taylor. 10 male, 3 fe- 



57. PUTKINS -, Heir * 3 Castles in the Air. 
A Comic Drama in 1 Act By W. R. Emerson. 

2 male, 2 female char. 

58. AN UGLY CUSTOMER. A Farce in 1 Act 
By Thomas J. Williams. 3 male, 2 female char. 

59. BLUE AND CHERRY. AComedy inlAct 

3 male, 2 female char. 



61. THE SCARLET LETTER. A Drama in 3 
Acts. 8 male, 7 female char. 

62. WHICH WILL HAVE HIM? A Vaude- 
ville. 1 male, 2 female char. 

63. MADAM IS ABED. A Vaudeville in 1 Act 
2 male, 2 female char. 

64. THE ANONYMOUS KISS. A Vaudeville. 
2 male, 2 female char. 

65. THE CLEFT STICK. A Comedy in 3 Acts. 
5 male, 3 female char. 

66. A SOLDIER, A SAILOR. A TINKER, 
AND A TAILOR. A Farce in 1 Act 4 male, 
2 female char. 

67. GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME. A Farce. 
2 male, 2 female char. 

68. DAMON AND PYTHIAS. A Farce. 6 
male, 4 female char. 

69. A HUSBAND TO ORDER. A Serio-comic 
Drama in 2 .A.cts. fj male, 3 female char. , 

70. PAYABLE ON DEMAND. A Domestic 
Drama in 2 Acts. 7 male, 1 female char. 



y 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND 



J §omttIi>, 



I JSr r-OXTR. A.GTS. 



DRAMATIZED FROM CHARLES DICKENS 

By HARRIETTE R. SHATTUCK. 



r -u..:;±lJ-..M~ 
BOSTON: 
LEE & SHEPiVriD, Piablishiers, 

18 7 9. 



COPYRIGHT, 

1 S 7 0, 
By IlArniF.TTic E. Siiattuck. 



/Z-3'SUj 



Stereotyi)ed at the Boston Stereotype Foundry, 
No. 19 Spring Lane. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 



CHARACTERS. 

Jonx RoKESMITH, (" Our Mutual Friend.") 

R. WiLFER, (" Cherubic Pa.") 

Mr. Boffin, (" The Golden Dustman.") 

George Sampson, (" The Friend of the Family.") 

Bella Wilfer, (" The Lovely Woman.") 

Mrs. Wilfer, (" Majestic Ma.") 

L.WINIA Wilfer, (" The Irrepressible Lavvy.") 

Mrs. Boffin, (" A dear, a dear, the best of dears.") 



Scene : London. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 



COSTUMES. 



John Eohesmith — ( " A dark gentleman, thirty at the most.") 
Phiin black suit. Act IV., Dark suit. Light overcoat and 
gloves. Silk hat. 

R. Wilfer — (■' Rusty. Ruddy, Round.") Black suit and hat, worn 
and rusty. Act IV., Dressing-gown and slippers. Must be 
short, stout, and blonde. 

Mr. Boffin — (" A broad, round-shouldered old fellow.") Thick 
shoes. Thick leather gaiters. Pea overcoat over suit of 
mourning. Broad-brimmed felt hat. Acts II. nnd III., 
Checked or striped suit. High-colored vest. Flashy neck- 
cloth. Watch and seals. Act IV.. Add overcoat and hat. 

George Sampson — (" A young gentleman of rising prospects.") 
Blonde hair, parted in the middle. White trousers and vest. 
Velvet coat. Yellow gloves. Bright neck-tie. Silk hat. 
Large cane, the round head of which he holds in his mouth 
all the time. 

Bella — (" So mercenary, so wilful, hut so pretty.") Act I., Plain 
biack dress. Act II., Elegant riding habit. Act III., Rich 
house-dre.ss, changed in Scene 2 to very ])lain dress, sacque, 
and hat. Act IV., Stylish walking costume, (not too rich.) 

Mrs. Wilfer — (" A tall woman, and an angular.'") Severely plain 
brown or gray waist and skirt — short enouj^h to show slip- 
pers and black stockings. Plain collar. Handkerchief tied 
over head and knotted under chin. Large-sized cotton 
gloves (worn all the ume.) 

Lavvy — ("Old enough to be engaged.") Short costumes of girl 
of sixteen. Act IV., Long traihng house-dress, of bright 
color and over-trimmed. 

Mrs, Boffin — (" A smiling creature, broad of figure and simple of 
nature.") Elegant velv.t or silk costumes. A profusion of 

1'ewelry. Broad velvet hat with long plumes. Ads I. and 
v., Long velvet mantle. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 



ACT I. 

Scene. — A plainly fumislied room in R. Wilfer's house. Mrs. 
WiLFER sitting majestically in the corner, L. Bella and LavvY 
playing backgammon, R. c. Doors R. and L. Window c. 

Enter R. Wilfer, r. 

R. W. Well, Piggywiggies, good morning ! and a fine morning 
it is too ! 

Mrs. W. If, R. W., you had arisen from your repose at the hour 
generally adopted by your family as seasonable for leaving their 
couches, you might have accosted your family in more appropriate 
language. 

li. W. Why, what's the matter, my dear ? I'm sure — 

Mrs. W, {interrupting him with a wave of her gloved hand.) 
If you will gaze upon the entrance to your domicile, 11. W., as you 
issue forth to your daily toil, doubtless you will undei'stand my 
meaning. 

ii. W. Why, what has happened, my dear ? 

Lavvy. O lor ! they've been and took off ma's door-plate, pa, 
that's all. 

Mrs. W. Yes, the man came himself with a pair of pincers, and 
took it off, and took it away. He said that as he had no expecta- 
tion of ever being paid for it, and as he had an order for another 
Ladies' School door-plate, it was better (burnished up) for the in- 
terests of all parties. 

E. W. Perhaps it was, my dear ; what do j-ou think ? 

Mrs. W. You are master here, R. W. It is as you think ; not 
as I do. Perhaps it might have been better if the man had taken 
the door too ? 

It. W. My dear, we couldn't have done without the door. 
. Mrs. W. Couldn't we ? 

B. W. Why, my dear ! Could we ? 

Mrs. W. It is as you think, R. W. ; not as I do. 

5 



6 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

R. W. (sitting.) What I was thinking of, my dear, was, that as 
we have let our first floor so well, and as we have now no place iu ■ 
which you could teach pupils, even if pupils — 

Mrs. W. (interrupting.) The milkman said he knew of two 
young ladies of the highest respectability who were in search of a 
suitable establishment, and he took a card. Tell your father whether 
it was last Monday, Bella. 

Bella. But we never heard any more of it, ma. 

a. W. In addition to which, my dear, if you have no place to put 
two young persons into — 

Mrs. W. (waving her gloved hand.) Pardon me, they were not 
young persons. Two young ladies of the highest respectability. 
Tell your father, Bella, whether the milkman said so. 

R. W. My dear, it is the same thing. 

Mrs. W. No, it is not. Pardon me ! 

R. W. I mean, my dear, it is the same thing as to space. As to 
space. I carry it no further than that. And solely looking at 
it — as I am sure you will agree, my love — from a fellow-ci'eature 
point of view, my dear. 

Mrs. W. I have nothing more to say. It is as you think, R. W. ; 
not as I do. (Bella jerks the backgammon board off the table 
and crosses to hearth-rug, C. Lavvy goes down on her hands and 
knees, and picks up the men.) Poor Bella ! 

R. W. And poor Lavinia, perhaps, my dear ? 

Mrs. W. Pardon me, no ! No, R. AV. Lavinia has not known 
the irial that Bella has known. The trial that your daughter Bella 
has undergone, is, perhaps, without a parallel, and has been borne, 
I will say, nobly. When you see your daughter Bella in her black 
dress, which she alone of all the family wears, and when you re- 
member the circumstances which have led to her wearing it, and 
when you know how those circumstances have been sustained, then, 
R. W., lay your head upon your pillow, and say, " poor Lavinia ! " 

Lavvy [from under the table.) I don't want to be "poored" by 
pa, nor anybody else ! 

Mrs. W. I'm sure you do not, my dear, for you have a fine, brave 
spirit. And your sister Bella has a fine brave spirit of another kind 
— a spirit of j)ure devotion, a beau-ti-ful spirit. 

Bella. I am sure, though you have no feeling for me, pa, I am 
one of the most unfortunate girls that ever lived. You know how 
poor we are, and what a glimpse of wealth I had, and how it melted 
away, and how I am here in this ridiculous mourning — which I 
hate ! — a kind of a widow who never was married. And yet you 
don't feel for me. — Yes you do, yes you do. (Goes to him and 
passes her hand throuqh and through his hair.) 

R. W. My dear, I "do. 

Bella. Yes, and I say you ought to. If they had only left me 
alone and told me nothing about it, it would have mattered much 
less. But that nasty Mr. Lightfoot feels it his duty, as he says, to 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 7 

write and tell me what is in reserve for me, and then I am obliged 
to get rid of George Sampson. 

Lavvy {rising.) You never cared for George Sampson, Bella. 

Bella. And did I say I did, miss ? George Sampson was very 
fond of me, and admired me very much, and put up with everything 
I did to him. 

Lavvy. You were rude enough to him. 

Bella. And did I say I wasn't, miss ? I am not setting up to be 
sentimental about George Sampson. I only say George Sampson 
was better than nothing. 

Lavvy. You didn't show him that you thought even that. 

Bella. You are a chit and a little idiot, or you wouldn't make 
such a dolly speech. What did you expect me to do ? Wait till 
you are a woman, and don't talk about what you don't understand. 
You only show your ignorance ! It's a shame ! There never was 
such a hard case ! I shouldn't care so much if it wasn't so ridicu- 
lous. It was ridiculous enough to have a stranger coming over to 
marry me, whether he liked it or not. It was ridiculous enough to 
know I shouldn't like him — how could I like him, left to him in a 
will like a dozen of spoons, with everything cut and dried beforehand. 
Those ridiculous points would have been smoothed away by the 
money, for I love money, and want money — want it dreadfully. I 
hate to be poor, and we are degradingly poor, offensively poor, mis- 
erably poor, beastly poor. And if the truth was known, when the 
Harmon murder was all over the town, and people were speculating 
on its being suicide, I dare say those impudent wretches at the clubs 
and places made jokes about the miserable creature's having pre- 
ferred a watery grave to me. And the idea of being as poor as ever 
after all, and going into black, besides, for a man 1 never saw, and 
should have hated — as far as /te was concerned — if I had seen! 
And now he is dead, and all the Harmon property is gone to those 
Boffins, and of course they will never take any notice of me, and 
I'm as poor as ever. It's a shame ! 

Mrs- W. Doubtless old Mr. Harmon was pleased with your per- 
sonal attractions, — as who is not pleased with a child of mine ? — 
and judged you a fit companion for his son, — as who would not ? 

Bella. Yes, without consulting Ids taste at all. 

Mrs. W. When I married your father my taste was not con- 
sulted. 

Lavvy. Nor his either, was it, ma ? 

Mrs. W. Certainly not. It w as not the custom with mamma and 
papa (I allude to my parents) to consult the wishes of their offspring 
on such matters, 

Lavvy. Such matters ! What matters? 

Bella. They don't concern you, Lavvy, at least. As for me, pa, 
I am resolved to get money, and to get money I must marry money ! 
"Talk to me of love ! Talk to me of fiery dragons ! But talk to me 



8 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

of money, and horses and carnages, fine dresses and jewelry, and 
then indeed we touch upon realities. (^ knock L.) 

Mrs. W. Who is it ? Enter ! 

Enter John Rokesmith, l. 

Eoke. The servant-girl had her key in the door as I came up, 
and directed me to this room, telling me I was expected. I am 
afraid I should have asked her to announce me. 

Mrs. W- {rising.) Pardon me ; not at all. Two of my daugh- 
ters. R. W., this is the gentleman who has taken our first-floor. 
He was so good as to make an appointment for this morning, when 
you would be at home. 

Eoke. Seeing that I am quite satisfied, Mr. Wilfer, with the 
rooms, and with their situation, and with their price, I suppose a 
memorandum between us of two or three lines, and a payment 
down, will bind the bargain ? I wish to send in furniture without 
delay. {Takes a chair which R. W. offers him.) 

Mrs. W. The gentleman, R. W., proposes to take our apart- 
ments by the quarter. A quarter's notice on either side. 

R. W. Shall I mention, sir, the form of a reference ? 

Boke. I think that a reference is not necessary ; neither, to say 
the truth, is it convenient, for I am a stranger in London. I re- 
quire no reference from you, and perhaps, therefore, you will re- 
quire none from me. That will be fair on both sides. Indeed, I 
show the greater confidence of the two, for I will pay in advance 
whatever you please, and I am going to trust my furniture here. 
Whereas, if you were in embarrassed circumstances — this is merely 
supposititious — 

Mrs. W. {stitinrj.) Perfectly. 

Roke. Why then, I might lose it. 

R. W. Well, money and goods are certainly the best of refer- 
ences. 

Bella. Do you think th3y are the best, pa? 

B. W. Among the best, my dear. 

Bella. I should have thought, myself, it was so easy to add, " the 
usual kind of one." 

(La VVY gets pen and ink, and R. W. and Roke. sign the agreement.) 

Bella {taking the pen.) Where am I to go, pa, here in this cor- 
ner ? {Signs. As she looks up RoKE. looks at her and she at him..) 

Boke. Much obliged to you, Miss Wilfer. 

Bella. Obliged? 

Boke. I have given you so much trouble. 

Bella. Signing my name? Yes, certainly. But I am your 
landlord's daughter, sir. (Roke. pays money to R. W., and exit R.) 

Bella. Pa, we have got a murderer for a tenant. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 9 

Lavvy. Pa, we have got a robber. 

Bella. To see him unable for his life to look anybody in the face ! 
There never was such an exhibition. 

R. W. My dears, he is a diffident gentleman, and I should say 
particularly so in the society of girls of your age. 

Bella. Nonsense, our age ! What's that got to do with him ? 

Lavvy. Besides, we are not of the same age : — which age ? 

Bella. Never yoic mind, Lavvy : you wait till you are of an age 
to ask such questions. Pa, mark my words ! Between Mr. Roke- 
smith and me there is a natural antipathy and a deep distrust ; and 
something will come of it! , (Goes to mirror.) 

a. W. My dear, and girls, between Mr. Rokesmith and me, there 
is a matter of eight sovereigns, and something for our supper shall 
come of it — something you all like. So now good morning, dears, 
and be sure to have a good fire kindled and the kettle boiling mer- 
jily, and this shall supply the rest. (Exit L.) 

Lavvy. And by this time to-morrmv we shall have Mr. Roke- 
smith here, and shall be expecting to have our throats cut. 

Bella. You needn't stand between me and the light for all that. 
This is another of the consequences of being poor ! The idea of a 
girl with a really fine head of hair having to do it by a few inches 
of looking-glass ! 

Lavvy. You caught George Sampson with it, Bella, bad as your 
means of dressing it are. 

Bella. You low little thing ! Caught George Sampson with it ! 
Don't talk about catching people, miss, till your own time for catch- 
ing — as you call it — comes. 

Lavvy. Perhaps it has come. 

Bella. What did you say ? What did you .say, miss? Nothing 
to wear! Nothing to go out in! Nothing to dress by! Being 
obliged to take in suspicious lodgers ! (A knock L.) 

Mrs. W. Peace ! Lavinia, attend ! (Bella sits R.) 

Lavvy (going to the door.) Please to walk in ! Our servant is out. 

Enter Mr. and Mrs. Boffin, l. 

Mr. Boffin. Mornin', niornin' ! 

Lavvy. Mr. and Mrs. Boffin, I think? 

Mrs. B. Yes, dear, that's our name. 

Lavvy. If you'll step this way. — Ma, Mr. and Mrs. Boffin. 

(Exit Lavvy, R.) 

Mrs. W. (rising.) Pardon me ; to what am I indebted for this 
honor ? 

Mr. B. To make short of it, ma'am, perhaps you may be ac- 
quainted with the names of me and Mrs. Boffin as having come 
into the Harmon property. 

Mrs. W. I have heard, sir, of such being the case. 

(Motions them to seats, which they take.) 



10 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Mr. B. And I dare say, ma'am, you are not very much inclined 
to take kindly to us? 

Mrs. W. Pardon me. 'Twere unjust to visit upon Mr. and Mrs. 
Boffin a calamity which Avas doubtless a dispensation. 

Mr. B. That's fairly meant, I am sure. Mrs. Boffin and me, 
ma'am, are plain people, and we don't want to pretend to anything, 
nor yet to go round and round at anything ; because there's always a 
straight way to everything. Consequently, we make this call to say, 
that we shall be glad to have the honor and pleasure of your daugh- 
ter's acquaintance, and that we shall be rejoiced if your daughter 
will come to consider our house in the light of her home equally 
with this. In short, we want to cheer your daughter, and to give 
her the opportunity of sharing such pleasures as we are agoing to 
take ourselves. We want to brisk her up, and brisk her about, and 
give her a change. 

Mrs. B. That's it ! Lor ! let's be comfortable. ^ 

Mrs. W. Pardon me. I have several daughters. Which of 
my daughters am I to understand is thus favored by the kind inten- 
tions of Mr. Boffin and his lady.^ 

Mrs. B. Don't you see? Naturally, Miss Bella, you know. 

Mrs. W. Oh-h ! My daughter Bella is accessible, and shall speak 
for herself. 

Bella. I am much obliged to you, I'm sure, but I doubt if I have 
the inclination to go out at all. 

Mrs. W. Bella ! you must conquer this. 

Mrs. B. Yes, do what your ma says, and conquer it, my dear ; 
because we shall be so glad to have you, and because you are much 
too pretty to keep yourself shut up. We are going to move into a 
nice house, and we'xe going to set up a nice carriage, and we'll go 
everywhere and see everything. {Kisses Bella.) 

Mr. B. Yes, Mrs. Boffin has carried the day, ma'am, and we're 
going in neck and crop for Fashion. 

3Irs. W. 'Twere far from me to deny the right of JMr. and Mrs. 
Boffin to such pretension?. 

3Irs. B. (laughing.) Yes, what I want is Society. 1 say, a good 
house in a good neighborhood, good things about us, good living 
and good society. Lor-a-mussy ! when I think of me in a light 
3ellow chariot and pair, with silver boxes to the wheels — 

Air. B. Oh ! you was thinking of that, was you, ray dear ? 

Mrs. B. Yes ! And with a footman up behind, with a bar across, 
to keep his legs from being poled ! And with a coachman up in 
front, sinking down into a seat big enough for three of him, all cov- 
ered with upholstery in green and white ! And with two bay horses 
tossing their heads and stepping higher than they trot longways ! 
And with you and me leaning back inside, as grand as ninepence! 
Ha ha ha ! And so says I to Noddy, my dear, [to Bella'] let's do 
something for that poor disappointed girl that's had her riches all 
took away ; and so here we are, and we want you to come and live 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND, 11 

with us, and see the sights and enjoy the money that ought to be 
your own, my love. You mustn't take a dislike to us, to begin with, 
because we couldn't help it, you know, my dear. 

Mr. B. That's it ! that's it ! What a thinking steam-ingein this 
old lady is ! And she don't know how she does it. Neither does 
the ingein. 

Enter Lay^y , followed by George Sampson, r. 

Mrs. W. (rising.) My youngest daughter, Lavinia, Mr. George 
Sampson, a friend of the family. 

Mrs. B. If you like to bring your sister with you when you come 
to stay with us, of course we shall be glad. The better you please 
yourself. Miss Bella, the better you'll please us. 

Lavvy. Oh, my consent is of no consequence at all, I suppose ? 

Bella. Lavvy, have the goodness to be seen and not heard. 

Lavvy. No, I won't ! I'm not a child, to be taken notice of by 
strangers. 

Bella. You are a child ! 

Lavvy. I'm not a child, and I won't be taken notice of. " Bring 
your sister," indeed ! 

Mrs. W. Lavinia ! Hold ! I will not allow you to utter in my 
presence the absurd suspicion that any strangers — I care not what 
their names — can patronize my child. Do you dare to suppose, 
you ridiculous girl, that Mr. and Mrs. Boffin Avould enter these doors 
upon a patronizing errand ; or, if they did, would remain within 
them, only for one single instant, while your mother had the 
strength yet remaining in her vital frame to request them to depart ? 
You little know your mother if you presume to think so. 

Lavvy. It's all very fine — 

Mrs. W. Hold ! I will not allow this. Do you not know what 
is due to guests ? Do you not comprehend that in presuming to 
hint that this lady and gentleman could have any idea of patronizing 
any member of your family — I care not which — you accuse them 
of an impertinence little less than insane ? 

Mr. B. Never mind me and Mrs. Boffin, ma'am ; we don't care. 

Mrs. W. Pardon me, but / do. 

Lavvy. Yes, to be sure. 

Mrs. W. And I require my audacious child to please to be just 
to her sister Bella ; to remember that her sister Bella is much 
sought after ; and that when her sister Bella accepts an attention, 
she considers herself to be conferring qui-i-te as much honor as she 
receives. 

Bella. I can speak for -myself, you know, ma. You needn't 
bring me in, please. 

Lavvy. And it's all very well aiming at others through conven- 
ient me ; but I should like to ask George Sampson what he says 
to it. 



12 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Mrs. W. {glaring at Geo. S.) Mr. Sampson, as a friend of this 
family and a frequenter of this house, is, I am persuaded, far too 
well-bred to interpose on such an invitation. 

Mrs. B. We should be happy to see him at any time. 

George S. Much obliged to you, but I'm always engaged, day 
and night. 

Mr. B. By the way, ma'am, you have a lodger ? 

Mrs. W. A gentleman undoubtedly occupies our first floor. 

Mr. B. I may call him Our Mutual Friend. What sort of a 
fellow is Our Mutual Friend, now ? Do you like him ? 

Mrs. W. Pardon me! From the limited period of my acquaint- 
ance with Mr. Rokesmith, he seems to be a very eligible inmate. 

Mr. B. Well, i'm not particularly acquainted with him, ma'ara. 
You give a good account of him. Is he at home ? 

Mrs. W. Mr. Rokesmith has but a short period since left this 
apartment. Indeed, {looking from window, c.) there he stands at 
the garden gate. Waiting for you, perhaps. 

Mr. B. {rising to go.) Perhaps so. Saw me come in, maybe 

Mrs. B. {going.) Good-bye for the present, Miss Bella. We 
shall meet again soon. 

Mr. B. 'Mornin', 'mornin' ! {Exit Mr. and Mrs. BOFFIX. L.) 

Lavvy. There, Bella I At last I hope you have got your wishes 
realized by your Boffins ! You'll be rich enough now icith your 
Boffins ! You can have as much flirting as you hke at your Bof- 
fins ! But you won't take me to your Boffins, I can teil you ! You 
and your Boffins too ! 

Geo. S. {taking cane from his mouth.) If Miss Bella's Mr. Boffin 
comes any more of his nonsense to me, I only wish him to under- 
stand, as betwixt man and man, that he does it at his per — 

(Lavvy jerks his cane in again forcibly.) 

Mrs. W. Of their manners I say nothing. Of their appearance 
I say nothing. Of the disinterestedness of their intentions towards 
Bella I say nothing. But the craft, the secrecy, the dark, deep, 
underhanded plotting written in Mrs. Boffin's countenance, make me 
shudder. {Exeunt Mrs. W., Lavvy, aiid Geo. S., r.) 

Bella, {taking a book, and throwing herself into a chair, R.) If 
there is anything ma delights in, it is in making us all seem ridicu- 
lous before strangers. ]3ut I mean to go and live with that dear 
old Mrs. Boffin I I know I shall love her I 

Enter Rokesmith, l., and stands silently. 

And then I shall escape all this poverty and misery, and having to 
take in suspicious lodgers — 

Boke. {interrnptinq.) 1 beg your pardon. Miss Wilfer, but I — 

Bella. Eh ? Oh, it's you, is it ? 

Roke. Only I. A — fine — morning. 

Bella. Is it? I was not thinking of the morning. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 13 

Bohe. So intent upon your book ? 

Bella {confused.) Yes. 

Boke. A love story, Miss Wilier P 

Bella. Oh clear, no, or I shouldn't be reading it It's more about 
money than anything else. 

Boke. And does it say that money is better than anything ? 

Bella {throwing down the book.) Upon my word, I forget what it 
says, but you can find out for yourself if you like. I don't want it 
any more. 

Boke. I am charged with a message for you, Miss Wilfer. 

Bella. Impossible, I think ! 

Boke. From Mrs. Boffin. She desired me to say to you (what 
she forgot), that she will be ready to receive you in another week, or 
two at furthest. You do not know, perhaps, Miss Wilfer, that I am 
Mr. Boffin's Secretary. 

Bella. I'm as wise as ever, for I dont know what a Secretary is. 
Not that it signifies. 

Boke. Not at all. 

Bella. Then are you going to be always there, Mr; Rokesmith ? 

Boke. Always? No. Very much there ? Yes. 

Bella. Dear me ! 

Boke. But my position there as Secretary, will be very different 
from yours as guest. You will know little, or nothing about me. I 
shall transact the business ; you will transact the pleasure. I shall 
have my salary to earn ; you will have nothing to do but to enjoy 
and attract. 

Bella. Attract, sir? I don't understand you. 

Boke. Excuse me. Since I have become entrusted with Mr. 
Boffin's affairs I have naturally come to understand the obligation he 
feels towards you, and the deep interest he takes in your welfare. I 
venture to remark, that much of your loss may be repaired. I 
speak, of course, merely of wealth, Miss Wilfer. The loss of a 
perfect stranger, whose worth, or worthlessness, I cannot estimate — 
nor you either — is beside the question. But this excellent gen- 
tleman and lady are so full of simplicity, so full of generosity, so 
inclined towards you, and so desirous to — how shall I express it ? 
— to make amends for their good fortune, that you have only to 
respond. I take the liberty of saying these few words. You don't 
consider them intrusive, I hope ? 

Bella. Really, Mr. Rokesmith, I can't say what I consider them. 
They are perfectly new to me, and may be founded altogether on 
your own imagination. 

Boke. You will see. 

Be-enter Mrs. W., r. 

Boke. I have been telling Miss Wilfer that I have become, by a 
curious chance, Mr. Boffin's Secretary, or man of business. 



14 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Mrs. W. 1 have not the honor of any intimate acquaintance with 
Mr. Boffin, and it is not for me to congratulate that gentleman on 
the acquisition he has made. 

Roke. A poor one enough. 

Mrs. W. Pardon me ; the merits of Mr. Boffin may be highly 
distinguished — may be more distinguished than the countenance 
of Mrs. Boffin would imply — but it were the insanity of humility 
to deem him worthy of a better assistant. 

Roke. You are very good. I have also been telling Miss Wilfer 
that she is expected very shortly at the new residence in town. 

Mrs. W. Having tacitly consented to my child's acceptance of 
the proffered attentions of Mrs. Boffin, I interpose no objection. 

Bella. Don't talk nonsense, ma, please. 

Mrs. IF. Peace ! 

Bella. No, ma, I am not going to be made so absurd. Inter- 
posing objections ! 

Mrs. W. (very grandly.') I say that I am tiot going to interpose 
objections. If Mrs. Boffin (to whose countenance no disciple of 
Lavater could possibly for a single moment subscribe) seeks to 
illuminate her new residence with the attractions of a child of mine, 
I am content that she should be favored by the company of a child 
of nline. 

Roke. You use the word, ma'am, I have myself used, when you 
speak of Miss Wilfer's attractions there. 

Mrs. W. Pardon me, but I had not finished. 

Roke. Pray excuse me. 

Mrs. W. I was about to say, that when I use the term attrac- 
tions, I do so with the qualification that I do not mean it in any 
way whatever. 

Bella. Quite enough about this, I am sure, on all sides^ Have 
the goodness, Mr. Rokesmith, to give my love to Mrs. Boffin — 

Mrs. W. Pardon me ! Compliments. 

Bdla. Love ! 

Mrs. W. No ! Comp'iments. 

Roke. Say Miss Wilfer's love, and Mrs. Wilfer's compliments. 

Bella. And I shall be very glad to come when she is ready for 
me. The sooner the better. 

Mrs. W. One last word, Bella, before descending to the family 
apartment. I trust that, as a child of mine, you will ever be sen- 
sible that it will be graceful in you, when associa:;ing with Mr. and 
Mrs. Boffin u])on equal terms, to remember that the Secretary, Mr. 
Rokesmith, as your father's lodger, has a claim on your good word. 
{t'xeiint Bella and Mrs. W., r.) 

Roke. (alone.) So insolent, so trivial, so capricious, so mercenary, 
so careless, so hard to touch, so hard to turn I And yet so pretty. 
so pretty ! And if she knew ! {Exit slowly L.) 

Act Drop. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 16 



ACT II. 



Scene. — Drawing-room in Mr. Boffin's mansion ; clock on mantel ; 
long mirror, C. ; plants and flowers in background. Doors R., L., 
and c. 

Enter Bella in riding -Jiahit, c. 

Bella. I could endure that hateful ride no longer. I must see Mr. 
Rokesmilh to-day, and I've sent for him to meet me here. Telling 
me of my duty to my family, indeed ! Setting himself up as my 
adviser! I have a right to be rude to him! {Takes off her hat 
and gloves, and sits in arm-chair by a small table, R.) 

Enter Mr. Boffin, l. 

Mr. B. Ah, Bella my dear, back again ! That's right ; " enjoy 
each day while yet yqji may," as says my literary man with a wooden 
leg. 

Bella. He must be a queer man, sir. 

Mr. B. He is, my dear ; a regular slasher at poetry. Why, I'll 
tell you how he lapsed into it one day nearly every other line. 
Want to hear it, my dear ? 

Bella. Yes, do say it. 

Mr. B. {repeating mechanically.) 

" I'll tell thee how the maiden wept, Mrs. Boffin, 
When her true love was slain, ma'am, 
And how her broken spirit slept, Mrs. Boffin, 

And never woke again, ma'am. 
I'll tell thee (if agreeable to Mr. Boffin) how the steed drew 
nigh. 
And left his lord afar : 
And if my tale (which I hope Mr. Boffin might excuse) 
should make you sigh, 
I'll strike the light guitar." 

The poem was to me and Mrs. Boffin, and I consider that it brings 
us both in, in a beautiful manner. 1 got Rokesmith to make a 
copy of it, and the old lady thinks of having it framed. By the 
way, you've no idea what an amount of work that Secretary does, 
Bella, my dear. He takes such wonderful care of my affairs. And 
yet, somehow, I can't make him out. 

Bella. May I ask why, sir ? 

Mr. B. Well, my dear, he won't meet any company here but 
'you. When we have visitors, I should wish him to have his regu- 
lar place at the table, like ourselves ; but no, he won't take it. 



16 OUR MUTUAL FHIEND. 

Bella. If he considers himself above it, I should leave him alone. 

Mr. B. It ain't that, my dear. He don't consider himself above it. 

Bella. Perhaps he considers himself beneath it. If so, he 
ought to know best. 

Mr. B. No, it ain't that neither. Rokesmith 's a modest man, 
but he don't consider himself beneath it. 

Bella. Then what does he consider, sir ? 

Mr. B. Dashed if I know! It seemed at first as if it was only 
the lawyer he objected to meet, but now it seems to be everybody 
except you. 

Bella {rising and walking up c.) Indeed! That's it, then! 
Rather cool, I think, in a Secretary and pa's lodger, to make me 
the subject of his jealousy and keep eligible people off! 

3Ir. B. {aside.) Oho, that's it, is it? Well, my lady, we must 
bring you round. 

Enter Rokesmith, i.. 

{aloud.) Here's Rokesmith now. Good bye, my dear. Now's a 
good chance to tell him what you think of him. - Put it to him strong, 
Bella, my dear. Ha, ha! {Exit L.) 

Bella '{turning.) Mr. Rokesmith, I wanted to say something to 
you when I could have the opportunity. You have no right to 
think ill of me, sir. 

Boke. You don't know how well I think of you. Miss Wilfer. 

Bella {sitting.) Truly, you must have a very high opinion of 
me, Mr. Rokesmith, when you believe that in prosperity I neglect 
and forget my old home. 

Boke. Do I believe so ? 

Bella. You did, sir, at any rate. 

Boke. I took the liberty of reminding you of a little omission 
into which you had fallen — insensibly and naturally fallen. It was 
no more than that. 

Bella. And I beg leave ta ask you, Mr. Rokesmith, why you took 
that liberty ? — I hope there is no offence in the phrase ? it is your 
own, remember. 

Boke. . Because I am truly, deeply, profoundly interested in you, 
Miss Wilfer. Because I wish to see you always at your best. Be- 
cause I — shall I go on ? 

Bella. No, sir ; you have said more than enough. I beg 
that you will 7iot go on. If you have any generosity, any honor, 
you will say no more. I wish to speak to you, sir, once for all, and 
I don't know how to do it. I beg for a moment's time. {After a 
pause.) You know how I am situated here, sir, and you know how 
I am situated at home. I must speak to you for myself, since there 
is no one about me whom I could ask to do so. It is not generous 
in you, it is not honorable in you, to conduct yourself towards me 
as you do. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 17 

Eohe. Is it ungenerous or dishonorable to be devoted to you ; 
fascinated by you ? 

Bella. Preposterous ! 

Roke. I now feel obliged to go on, though it were only in self- 
explanation and self-defence. I hope, Miss Wilfer, that it is not 
unpardonable — even in me — to make an honest declaration of an 
honest devotion to you. 

Bella. An honest declaration ! 

Boke. Is it otherwise ? 

Bella. I must request, sir, that I may not be questioned. You 
must excuse me if I decline to be cross-examined. 

Boke. Oh, Miss Wilfer, this is hardly charitable. I ask you 
nothing but what your own emphasis suggests. However, I waive 
even (hat question. But what I have declared, I take my stand by. 
I cannot recall the avowal of my earnest and deep attachment to 
you. and I do not recall it. 

Bella. I reject it, sir. 

Boke. I shoufd be blind and deaf if I were not prepared for the 
reply. Forgive my offence, for it carries its punishment with it. 

Bella. What punishment? 

Boke. Is my present endurance none ? But excuse me ; I did 
not mean to cross-examine you again. 

Bella. You take advantage of a hasty word of mine to make me 
seem — I don't know what. I spoke without consideration when I 
used it. If that was bad, I am sorry ; but you repeat it after con- 
sideration, and that seems to me to be at least no better. For the 
rest, I beg it may be understood, Mr. Rokesmith, that there is an 
end of this between us, now and for ever. 

Boke. Now and for ever. 

Bella. Yes. I appeal to you, sir, not to pursue me. I appeal 
to you not to take advantage of your position in this house to make 
my position in it distressing and disagreeable. I appeal to you to 
discontinue your habit of making your misplaced attentions as plain 
to Mrs. Boffin as to me. 

Boke. Have I done so ? 

Bella. I should think you have. In any case, it is not your fault 
if you have not, Mr. Rokesmith. 

Boke. I hope you are wrong in that impression. I should be 
very sorry to have justified it. I think I have not. For the future 
there is no apprehension. It is all over. 

Bella. I am much relieved to hear it. I have far other views in 
life, and why-should you waste your own? 

Boke. Mine ! My life I Pardon me. Miss Wilfer ; you have 
used some hard words, for which 1 do not doubt you have a justifi- 
cation in your mind, that I do not understand. Ungenerous and 
dishonorable. In what ? 

Bella. I would rather not be asked. 
2 



18 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Boke. I would rather not ask, but the question is imposed upon 
me. Kindly exjilain ; or if not kindlj-, justly. 

Bella, dh, sir ! is it generous and honorable to use the power 
here which your favor wirh Mr. and Mrs. Boffin and your ability in 
your ])lace give you, against me ? 

Boke. Against you ? 

Bella. Is it generous and honorable to form a plan for gradually 
bringing their influence to bear upon a suit which I have shown you 
that 1 do not like, and which I tell you that I utterly reject? Would 
it be generous and honorable to step into your place — if you did 
so, for I don't know that you did, and I hope you did not — 
anticij)ating, or knowing beforehand, that I should come here, and 
designing lo take me at this disadvantage ? 

Boke. This mean and cruel disadvantage ! 

Bella. Yes. 

Boke. You are wholly mistaken. Miss Wilfer ; wonderfully mis- 
taken. 

Bella {rising.) At least, sir, you know the history of my being 
here at all. And was it not enough that I should have been willed 
away like a horse, or a dog, or a bird ; but must you too begin to 
dispose of me in jour mind, and speculate in me, as soon as I had 
ceased to be the taik and the laugh of the town ? Am I for ever to 
be made the property of strangers? 

Boke. Believe me, you are wonderfully mistaken. 

Bella. 1 should be glad to know it. 

Boke. I doubt if you ever will. Good-night. Of course I shall 
be careful to conceal any traces of this interview from Mr. and Mrs. 
Boffin while I remain here. Trust me, what you have complained 
of is at an end for ever. 

Bella. I am glad I have spoken then, Mr Rokesmith. It has 
been painful and difficult, but it is done. If I have hurt you, I 
hope you will forgive me. I am inexperienced and impetuous, and 
I have been a little spoiled, but I really am not so bad as I dare say 
I appear, or as you may think me. {Exit Rokesmith, l.) I didn't 
know thf lovely woman could be such a dragon. {Going to the viir- 
ror.) You have positively been swelling your features, you little 
fool ! I wish pa was here to talk about avari'^ious marriages, but he 
is better away, poor dear, for I know I should pull his hair if he icas 
here. {A pause.) He has no right to any power over me, and 
how do I come to mind him, when I don't care for him ? Pa's 
lodger and a Secretary ! indeed ! {Sits l.) 

Enter K. Mrs. AVilfer, folloived by Lawy and Geo. S. arm-in- 
arm. They advance slowly towards Bella. 

Lawy {pointing out objects in the room to George.) Exotics, 
George. An Ormolu clock, George. An Aviai'y beyond, George. 
Bella {rising as she notes their approach.) Why, ma, is this 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 19 

you? And here is Lavvy too ! and George Sampson! How do 
you do, all ? Ma, you shall have this very best chair, Mrs. Boffin's 
own favorite. {Pushes arm-chair towards Mrs. W.) 

Mrs. W. Pardon me ! It were not fitting for me to occupy Mrs. 
Boffin's magnificent reclining couch, coming as we do from the abode 
of conscious though independent poverty. {Crosses to L. and sits on 
a high stool.) This is quite an honor for its. You will probably 
find your sister Lavinia grown, Bella. 

Lavvy {loho has been examining the room, suddenly comes for- 
ward.) Ma, I really must request that you will not dragin such ridic- 
ulous nonsense as my having grown when I am past the growing age. 

Mrs. W. I grew mj'self after 1 was married. 

Lavvy. Very well, ma, then I think you had much better have 
left it alone. 

George S. To be sure, certainly. 

Lavvy. I suppose you won't consider yourself quite disgraced, 
Bella, if I give you a kiss ? Well '. {Sitting R., with Geo. S. by her 
side.) And how do you do, Bella ? And how are your Boffins ? 

Mrs. W. Hold ! I will not sufl'er this tone of levity. 

Lavvy. My goodness me ! How are your Spoffins, then ? since 
ma so very much objects to your Boffins. 

Mrs. W. Impertinent girl ! Minx ! 

Lavvy. ^ I don't care whether I'm a Minx, or a Sphinx ; it's ex- 
actly the same thing to me, and I'd every bit as soon be one as the 
other ; but I know this — I'll not grow after I am married ! 

Geo. S. No, certainly not. 

Mrs. W. You will not? Foit will not? 

Lavvy. No, ma, I will not. Nothing shall induce me. 

Mrs. W. It was to be expected. A child of mine deserts me for 
the proud and prosperous, and another child of mine despises me. 
It is quite fitting. 

Bella. Ma, Mr. and Mrs. Boffin are prosperous, no doubt ; but 
you have no right to say they are proud. You must know very well 
that they are not. 

JjUvvy. In short, ma, you must know very well — or if j'ou 
don't, more shame for you! — that Mr. and Mrs. Boffin are just ab- 
solute perfection. 

Mrs. W. Truly, it would seem that we are required to think so. 
And this, Lavinia, is my reason for objecting to a tone of levity. 
Mrs. Boffin (of whose physiognomy I can never speak with the com- 
posure I would dtsire to preserve) and your mother are not ou 
terms of intimacy. 

Lavvy. After all, you know, Bella, you haven't told us how your 
Whats-his-names are. 

Bella. I don't want to spe'ak of them. They are much too kind 
and too good to be drawn into these discussions. 

Mrs. W. Why put it so ? Why adopt a circuitous form of 
speech ? It is polite and it is obliging ; but why do it ? Why not 



20 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

openly say that they are much too kind and too good for us? We 
understand the allusion. Why disguise the phrase ? 

Bella. Ma, you are enough to drive a saint mad ; and so is Lavvy ! 

Mrs. W. Unfortunate Lavvy ! She always comes in for it. My 
poor child ! 

Lavvy. Don't patronize me, ma, because I can take care of my- 
self. 

Mrs. W. {to Bella.) I only wonder that you find time and incli- 
nation to tear yourself from Mr. and Mrs. Boffin, and come to see 
us at ali. I shall expect you hut seldom. 

Bella. Ma, I think you are too bad, and so is Lavvy. Pa is too 
magnanimous to feel envy and spite towards my generous friends, 
and pa is delicate enough and gentle enough to remember the sort 
of little claim they thought 1 had upon th.-m. And I always did 
love poor dear ]ia better than all the rest of you put together, and I 
always do, and I always shall ! {Bursts into tears.) 

Mrs. W- {raising her eyes to heaven.) Fate has spared you this, 
R. W., whatever it may have thought proper to inflict upon me. 
{Bursts into tears.) 

Lavvy, {walking around excitedly.) I hate the Boffins ! I don't 
care who objects to their being called the Boffins. I WILL call 'era 
the Boffins. And I sii^' they are mischief-making Boffins, and I say 
the Boffins have set Bella against me, and I tell the Boffins to their 
faces, that they are detestable Boffins, disreputable Boffins, odious 
Boffins, beastly Boffins. There! {Flings herstlf into a chair and 
weeps.) 

George S. {rising.) What I mean to say is. Why do you take me 
to the glittering halls with which I can never compete, and then 
taunt me with my moderate salary ! Is it generous ? Is it kind ? 
Bear with a wretch, Lavinia, bear with a wretch, ma'am, who feels 
the noble sacrifice you make for him {slaps his forehead), but is 
goaded almost to madness when he thinks of competing with the 
rich and influential. {Falls on his knees at Lavvy's feet and 
weeps.) 

Act Drop, (quick.) 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 21 

ACT III. 

Scene I. — Sarne as Act II. 

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin discovered sitting together on a sofa, C. 

Mr. B. And so that is the secret, is it, old lady ? 

Mrs. B. Yes, Noddy ; and to think that he is our own little John 
Harmon, our own little boy that we watched and tended ; and he so 
sad and sorrowful, and we never to know. 

Mr. B. But how did you find him out, tell me now? 

Mrs. B. O, when I looked in last night and saw him sitting 
lonely by the fire, so sad, so lonely, after what our Bella had 
been saying to him, every grain of the gunpowder that had been 
lying sprinkled thick about him ever siiice 1 first set eyes on him 
when he came to be your Secretary, took fire, and I knew him. Too 
many times I'd seen him when he was a poor child, sitting, lonely, 
to be pitied heart and hand. I just made out to cry, '* 1 know you 
now, you're John ! " {Laughs and cries at once.) 

Mr. B. Well, well, old lady, it's all right now. He's come to 
life again, and shall have his money bark and be happy. 

Mrs. B. But he won't take it. Noddy. 

Mr. B. O, that's all a notion. It's all because — now I've got a 
secret to tell i/ou, old lady. Rokesmitb — 

3Irs. B. {iidemipting.) My Hitle John Harmon. 

Mr. B. Yes, our John Harmon, old lady, only he will call him- 
self otherwise. Well, he's in love with our Bella, and now I've got 
a plan to make her fall in love with him. Don t you see? 

M}S. B. Bless her dear little heart, Noddy ; I think she loves him 
now, only she don't know it herself. 

Mr. B. But she has refused him. She wants to marry money. 
She has mighty grand ideas ! 

Mrs. B. Bless you, that's all a notion, Noddy, that's all a notion. 

Mr. B. Well, I've got a notion too. You know how I've been 
treating him of late on purpose to make her take his part. Now, to- 
day we shall see. I'll go it stronger. I'll be a regular old grisly 
growler. 

Mrs. B. Don't be too hard, Noddy my love. 

Mr. B. (rising and walking about.) Yes I shall. I'll be a brown 
bear, a regular old grim one. Now, old lady, you mustn't spoil it 
all. Come, put on a sober face, for here comes Bella. 

Enter Bella, R. 

Mr. B. Don't be alarmed, Bella, my dear. I'll see you righted. 
Bella. See me righted, sir ? 



22 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Mr. B. (drawing her hand through his arm.) Ay, ay ! See you 
righted. 

Enter Rokesmith, l. 

Mr. B. Shut the door, sir ! I have got something to say to you 
which 1 fancy you'll not be pleased to hear. 

Boke. I am sorry to reply, Mr. BofEn, that I think that very 
likely. 

Mr. B. What do you mean ? 

Boke. I mean that it has become no novelty to me to hear from 
your lips what I would rather not hear. 

Mr. B. Oh! perhaps we shall change that. 

Boke. I hope so. 

Mr. B. Now, sir, look at this young lady on my arm. 

Boke. I do so. 

Mr. B. How dare you, sir, tamper, unknown to me, with this 
young lady ? How dare you pester this young lady with your im- 
pudent addresses ? 

Boke. I must decline to answer questions that are so offensively 
asked. 

Mr. B. You decline to answer, do you? Then I'll tell you 
what it is, Rokesmilh ; 111 answer for you. There are two sides to 
this matter, and I'll take 'em separately. The first side is, sheer 
Insolence. That's the first side. It was sheer Insolence in you even 
to think of this young lady. This young lady was far above yon. 
This young lady was no match for you. This young lady was lying 
in wait for money, and you had no money. What are you, I should 
like to know, that you were to have the audacity to follow up this 
young lady ? This young lady was looking about the market for a 
good bid ; she wasn't in it to be snapped up by fellows that had no 
money to lay out ; nothing to buy with. 

Bella, {going quickly to Mrs. Boffin.) Oh, Mr. Boffin ! Mrs. Bof- 
fin, pray say something for me ! {Mrs. B. weeps.) 

Mr. B. Old lady, you hold your tongue. Bella, my dear, don't 
you let yourself be put out. I'll right you. 

Bella. But you don't, you don't right me ! You wrong me ! 

Mr. B. Don't you be put out, my dear. Now, you Rokesmith ! 
You hear me tell you that the first side of your conduct was Inso- 
lence — Insolence and Presumption. Answer me one thing, if you 
can. Didn't this young lady tell you so herself? 

Bella, {burying her face in her hands.) Did I, Mr. Rokesmith ? 
O say, Mr. Rokesmith ! Did I ? 

Boke. Don't be distressed. Miss Wilfer ; it matters very little 
now. 

3Ir. B. Ah ! You can't deny it, though ! 

Bella. But I have asked him to forgive me since ; and I would 
ask him to forgive me now again, upon my knees, if it would spare 
him. {Mrs. B. bursts into tears.) 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 23 

Mr. B. Old lady, stop that noise ! Tender-hearted in you, Miss 
Bella. Now, you Rokesmith, I tell you that's one side of your con- 
duct — Insolence and Presumption. Now, I'm a-coraing to the 
other, which is much worse. This was a speculation of yours. 

Boke. I indignantly deny it. 

Mr. B. It's of no use your denying it ; I've got a head upon my 
shoulders, and it ain't a baby's. What ! Don't I know what grabs 
are made at a man with money ? If I didn't keep my eyes open, and 
my pockets buttoned, shouldn't I be brought to the workhouse be- 
fore I knew where I was ? I'm agoing to unfold your plan before 
this young lady ; I'm agoing to show this young lady the second view 
of you ; and nothing you can say will stave it off. {Bella sinks into 
a chair and hides her face.) Now, attend here, Bella my dear. 
Rokesmith, you're a needy chap. You're a chap that I pick up in 
the street. Are you, or ain't you ? 

Boke. Go on, Mr. Boffin ; don't appeal to me. 

Mr. B. Not appeal to you! No, I should hope not ! Appealing 
to you, would be rather a rum course. You come and ask me in 
the street to take you for a Secretary, and I take you. Vei-y good. 

Boke. Very bad. 

Mi: B. What do you say ? This Rokesmith is a needy young 
man that I take for my Secretary out of the open street. This 
Rokesmith gets acquainted with my afiliirs, and gets to know that I 
mean to settle a sum of money on this young lady. " Oho !" says 
this Rokesmith; "this will be a good haul; I'll go in for this!" 
But fortunately she was too many for him, and a pretty figure he 
cuts now he is exposed. There he stands ! Look at him ! 

Boke. Your unfortunate suspicions, Mr. Boffin — 

Mr. B. Precious unfortunate for you, I can tell you. 

Boke. — are not to be combated by any one, and I address my- 
self to no such hopeless task. But I will say a word upon the 
truth. 

Mr. B. {snapping his fingers.) Yah ! Much you care about the 
truth. 

Mrs. B. Noddy ! My dear love ! 

Mr. B. Old lady, you keep still. I tell him again, much he 
cares about the truth. 

Boke. Our connection being at an end, Mr. Boffin, it can be of 
very little moment to me what you say. 

Mr. B. Oh ! You are knowing enough to have found out that 
our connection 's at an end, eh ? But you can't get beforehand with 
me. Look at this in my hand. This is your pay, on your discharge. 
You can only follow suit. You can't deprive me of the lead. Let's 
have no pretending that you discharge yourself. I discharge you. 

Boke. So that I go, it is all one to me. 

Mr. B. Is it ? But it's two to me, let me tell you. Old lady, 
don't you cut in. You keep still. 

Boke. Have you said all you wish to say to me ? 



24 OUR MUTU.AX FRIEND. 

Mr. B. I don't know whether I have or not. It depends. 

Roke. Perhaps you will consider whether there are any other 
strong expressions that you would like to bestow upon me ? 

Mr. B. I'll consider that at my convenience, and not at yours. 

Mrs. B. Noddy ! My dear, dear Noddy ! You sound so hard ! 

Mr^ B. Old lady, if you cue in when requested not, I'll get a 
pillow and carry you out of the room upon it. What do you want 
to say, you Rokesmith ? 

Boke. To you, Mr. Boffin, nothing. But to Miss Wilfer and to 
your good kind wife, a word. 

Mr. B. Out with it then, and cut it short, for we've had enough 
of you. 

Roke. I have borne with my false position here, that I might not 
be separated from Miss Wilfer. Since Miss Wilfer rejected me I 
have never again urged my suit, to the best of my belief, with a 
spoken syllable or a look. But I have never changed in my devo- 
tion to her, except — if she will forgive my saying so — that it is 
deeper than it was, and better founded. 

Mr. B. Now. mark this chap's saying,- Miss Wilfer, when he 
means Pounds, Shillings, and Pence ! 

Boke. My interest in Miss Wilfer began when I first saw her ; 
even began when I had only heard of her. It was, in fact, the cause 
of my throwing myself in Mr. Boffin's way, and entering his service. 
Miss Wilfer has never known this until now. 

Mr. B. Now, this is a very artful dog. This is a longer-headed 
schemer than I thought him. See how patiently and metliodically he 
goes to work. "He says to himself, " I'll gi^t in with Boffin, and I'll 
get in with this young lady, and 111 work 'em both at the .same time, 
and I'll bring my pigs to market somewhere." I hear him say it, 
bless you ! Why, I look at him now, and I see him say it ! But 
luckily he hadn't to deal with the people he supposed, Bella my 
dear ! And he's beat, that's what he is ; regularly beat. He 
thought to squeeze money out of us, and he has done fcr himself 
instead, Bella my dear ! There's your pay, Rokesmith, (//o-oi^Z/j^ 
money on ihefioor.) I dare say you can stoop to pick it up, after 
■what you have stooped to here. 

Boke. I have stooped to nothing but this ; and this is mine, for I 
have earned it by the hardest of hard la'ior. 

Mr. B. You're a pretty quick packer, I hope ; because the sooner' 
you are gone, bag and baggage, the better for all parties. 

Boke. You need have no fear of my lingering. 

3Ir. B. You pretend to have a mighty admiration for this young 
lady ? 

Boke. I do not pretend. 

31r. B. Oh ! Well. You have a mjghjty admiration for this 
young lady — since you are so particular? 

Boke. Yes. 

Mr. B. How do you reconcile that, with this young lady's fling- 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 25 

in^ up her money to the church-weathercocks, and racing oflf at a 
splitting pace for the workhouse ? 

Eoke. I don't understand you. 

Mr. B. Don't you ? Or won't you ? AVhat else could you have 
made this young lady out to be, if she had listened to such addresses 
as yours? 

Roke. What else, if I had been so happy as to win her affections 
and possess her heart ! 

Mr. B. Win her affections and possess her heart ! Mew says 
the cat. Quack-quack says the duck, Bow-wow-wow says the dog ! 
Win her affections and possess her heart ! Mew, Quack-quack, 
Bow-wow ! What is due to this young lady is Money, and this 
young lady right well knows it. 

Roke. You slander the young lady. 

Mr. B. You slander the young lady ; you with your affections 
and hearts and trumpery. You and your affections and hearts are 
a Lie, sir ! 

Roke. Mrs. Boffin, for your delicate and unvarying kindness I 
thank you with the warmest gratitude. Good-bye ! Miss Wilfer, 
good-bye ! 

Mr. B. And now, my dear, I hope you feel that you've been 
righted ! 

Bella, {starting up.) O Mr. Rokesmith, before you go, if you 
could but make me poor again ! Oh ! Make me poor again, some- 
body, I beg and pray, or my heart will break if this goes on ! Pa 
dear, make me poor again and take me home ! I was bad enough 
there, but I have been so much worse here. Don't give me money, 
Mr. Boffin, I won't have money. Keep it away from me, and only let 
me speak to good little pa, and lay my head upon his shoulder, and 
tell him all my griefs. Nobody else can understand me, nobody else 
can comfort me, nobody else knows how unworthy I am, and yet can 
love me like a little child. I am better with pa than any one — 
more innocent, more sorry, more glad ! (Throws herself at Mrs. 
Boffin's feet, weeping.) 

Mr. B. There, my dear, there. You are righted ; and it's all 
right. 

Bella. I hate you ! At least, I can't hate you, but I don't like 
you. 

Mr.B. Hullo! 

Bella, (rising.) You are a scolding, unjust, abusive, aggravating, 
bad old creature. I am angry with my ungrateful self for calling 
you such names, but you are ! You are ! You know you are ! I 
have heard you with shame ! — shame for myself, and shame for you. 
You ought to be above the base tale-bearing of a time-serving 
creature, but you are above nothing now. When I came here I 
honored you and respected you, and I soon loved you. But now I 
can^t bear the sight of you. At least, I don't know as I ought to 
go so far as that — only — you're a monster ! The best wish I can 



26 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

■wish you is that you hadn't a single farthing in the world. If any 
true friend could make you a bankrupt you would be a duck, but as 
a man of property you're a — demon. Mr. Kokesmith, pray stay 
one moment. Pray hear one word from me before you go. 1 am 
deeply sorry for the reproaches you have borne on my account. Out 
of the depths of my heart I earnestly and truly beg your ])ardou. 

{Gives her hand.) 

Boke. God bless you ! 

Bella. Mr. Boffin's speeches were detestable to me, shocking to 
me. It is quite true that there was a time when I deserved to be so 
righted, but I hope that I shall never deserve it again. 

(RoKE. raises her hand to his lips, and exit L.) 

Bella. He has gone. He has been most shamefully treated, and 
most unjustly and basely driven away, and I am the cause of it. I 
must go home. I am very grateful to you for ail you have done for 
me, but I cannot stay here. 

Mrs. B. My darling girl ! 

Bella. No, I cannot stay here. Oh, you vicious old thing ! 

Mrs. B. Don't be rash, my love. Think well of what you do. 

Mr. B. Yes, you had better think well of what you do. 

Bella. I shall never more think well of yoM. And, what is more, 
you're wholly undeserving of the Gentleman you have lost. 

Mr. B. Why, you don't mean to say, Miss Bella, that you set up 
Rokesmith against me .►* 

Bella. I do ! He is worth a Million of you. I would rather he 
thought well of me, though he swept the street for bread, than that 
you did, though you splashed the mud upon him from the wheels of 
a chariot of pure gold — There! 

Mr. B. Well, I'm sure ! 

Bella. And for a long time past, when you have thought you set 
yourself above him, I have only seen you under his feet — There ! 
And throughout I saw in him the master-, and I saw in you the 
man — There ! And when you used him shamefully, I took his part 
and loved him — There! I boast of it. {Throws herself into a 
chair, and cries.) 

Mr. B. Now look here. Give me your attention, Bella. I am 
not angry. 

Bella. I am ! 

Mr. B. I say I am not angry, and I mean kindly to you, and I 
want to overlook this. So you'll stay where you are, and we'll agree 
to say no more about it. 

Bella {rising hurriedly.) No, I can't stay here ; I can't think of 
staying here. I must go home for good. 

Mr. B. Now don't be silly ; don't do what you're sure to be 
sorry for. 

Bella. I shall never be sorry for it ; and I should always be sorry, 
and should every minute of my life despise myself, if I remained 
here after what has happened. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 27 

Mr. B. At least, Bella, let there be no mistake about it. Look 
before* you leap, you know. Stay where you are, and all's well, and 
all's as it was to be. Go away, and you can never come back. 

Bella. I know that I can never come back, and that's what I 
mean. 

Mr. B. You mustn't expect that I'm agoing to settle money on 
you if you leave us like this, because I am not. No, Bella ! Be 
careful ! Not one brass farthing. 

Bella. Expect ! Do you think that any power on earth could 
make me take it, if you did, sir? (Goes to Mrs. B. and falls on 
her knees before her.) You're a dear, a dear, the best of dears ! I 
can never be thankful enough to you, and can never forget you. If 
I should live to be blind and deaf, I know 1 shall see and hear you, 
in my fiincy, to the last of my dim old days ! 

Mrs. B. My dear girl ! My darling giil I My sweet pretty ' 

Bella {rising and going to Mr. B.) I am very glad that I called 
you names, sir, because you richly deserved it. But I am very sorry 
that I called you names, because you used to be so different. Say 
good-bye ! 

Mr. B. Good-bye. 

Bella. If I knew which of your hands was the least spoiled, I 
would ask you to let me touch it, for the last time. 

Mr. B. Try the left hand ; it's the least used. 

Bella {taking his hand.) You have been wonderfully good and 
kind to me, and I kiss it for that. You have been as bad as bad 
could be to Mr. Rokesmilh, and I throw it away for that. Thank 
you for myself, and good-bye ! 

Mr. B. Good-bye. (Bella kisses him suddenly, embraces 

Mrs. B., and runs out L.) 

Mr. B. {slapping his knees and laughing.) Ha, ha ! What do you 
think of me now, old lady ? Wasn't I a regular old brown one ? 

Mrs. B. {wiping her eyes.) O Noddy, you was so hard. 

Mr. B. Of course I was, old lady ; but didn't I bring her round ? 
Ha, ha ! {Imitating Bella.) " You're a monster ! and I never 
again shall think well of youl " Didn't she put it to me, old lady ? 
{Imitating as before.) "I hate you!" Ha, ha ! Didn't she look 
pretty, and didn't her little eyes snap and her little feet beat the 
floor? I tell you, old lady, we've done a glorious day's work. 

Mrs. B. But we've lost her for ever, Noddy. 

Mr. B. Not a bit of it. She thinks so, no doubt. But I tell 
you it'll be all right before we know it. Wasn't I a grisly old 
growler, though ? I knew she'd come through it true golden gold, 
and she has. Now she'll run home and John will go after her, and 
they'll both be happy, and we'll be hapjiy too, old lady, and bide our 
time. This is the happiest piece of work we've ever done, old lady, 
I'll be bound. {Seizes Mrs. B. round the icaist and dances withher 
aSout the room and out through the entrance c.) 



28 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 



Scene II. — A dmgy office. Deshs, stools, &c. Doors R. and l. 
Window c. R. W. seated at desk, R. c, eating bread and milk. 

R. W. I wonder if my little Bella is really enjoying herself with 
all her riches and elegance. {Sighs.) When she comes to see her 
poor, shabby old father, she looks so lovely and is dressed so beau- 
tifully that I feel almost afraid she'll forget us all one of these days, 
after she marries the enormously wealthy husband that she talks so 
much about. Well, well, poor old Rumty will be sorry to lose his 
lovely woman, for she's a very sweet and dear little woman in spite 
of her mercenary ideas. God bless her ! (Bella runs in l., seizes 
R. W. round the neck and kisses him heartily.) 

Bella There, dear pa, how do you like that.'' 

.B. W. {breathlessly.) Very much, my dear. But, my dear, I 
never was so surprised ! The idea of your coming down the lane 
yourself. Why didn't you send the footman down the lane, my 
love ? 

Bella {sitting by his side.) I have brought no footman with me, 
pa. 

7?. W. Oh, indeed ! But you have brought the elegant turnout, 
my love ? 

Bella. No, pa. 

a. W. You never can have walked, my dear ? 

B4la. Yes, I have, pa. 

R. W. The idea of a splendid — 

Bella. What's the matter, pa ? 

R. W. — of a splendid female putting up with such accommo- 
dation as the present. Is that a new dress you have on, dear? 

Bella. No, pa, an old one. Don't you remember it ? 

R. W. Why, I thought I remembered it, my dear ! 

Bella. You should, for you bought it, pa ? 

R. W. Yes, I though* I bought it, my dear ! 

Bella. And have you grown so fickle that you don't like your own 
taste, pa dear ? 

R. W. Well, my love, I should have thought it was hardly suf- 
ficiently splendid for existing circumstances. 

Bella. And so, pa, you sometimes have a quiet tea here all alone ? 
I am not in the tea's way, if I draw my arm over your shoulder like 
this, pa ? 

R. W. Yes, my dear ; and no, my dear. Yes. to the first question, 
and Certainly Not to the second. Respecting the quiet tea, my 
dear, why you see the occupations of the day are sometimes a little 
wearing ; and if there's nothing interposed between the day and 
your mother, why she is sometimes a little wearing too. 

Bella. I know, pa. 

R. W. Yes, my dear. So sometimes I put a quiet tea at the win- 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 29 

dow here, with a little quiet contemplation of the Lane (which comes 
soothing), between the day, and domestic — 

Bella. Bliss. 

R. W. And domestic Bliss. 

Bella. And it is in this dark dingy place of captivity, poor dear, 
that you pass all the hours of your life when you are not at home ? 

R. W. Not at home, or not on the road there, or on the road 
here, my love. Yes. You see that little desk in the corner ? 

Bella. In the dark corner, farthest both from the light and from 
the fireplace? The shabbiest desk of all the desks ! 

R. W. Now, does it really strike you in that point of view, my 
dear ? That's mine. That's called Rumty's Perch. 

Bella {indignantly.) Whose Perch ? 

R. W. Rumty's. You see, being rather high and up two steps, 
they call it a Perch. And they call me Rumty. 

Bella. How dare they ! 

R. W. They're playful, Bella my dear; they're playful. They're 
more or less younger than I am, and they're playful. What does it 
matter ? I might be Surly, or Sulky, or fifty disagreeable things 
that I really shouldn't like to be considered. But Rumty ! Lor, 
why not Rumty ? {Resumes eating.) 

Bella {after a pause.) Pa dear, don't be cast down, but I must 
tell you something disagreeable. 

R. W. {not heeding Bella.) My gracious me ! This is very ex- 
traordinary. 

Bella. What is, pa ? 

R. W. {looking out of window.) Why here's Mr. Rokesmith 
now! 

Bella. No, no, pa, no ; surely not. 

R. W. Yes, there he is ! Look here ! 

Enter Rokesmith, l. He comes forward quickly, and as Bella 
rises, catches her in his arms. 

Roke. My dear, dear girl ; my gallant, generous, disinterested, 
courageous, noble girl ! {B^hhK lays her head on his shoulder.) I 
knew you would come to him, and I followed you. My love, my 
life 1 You are mine ? 

Bella. Yes, I am yours, if you think me worth taking, {A pause.) 
But we must think of dear pa. I haven't told dear pa : let us speak 
to pa. 

R. W. {faintly.) I wish first, my dear, that you'd have the kind- 
ness to sprinkle me with a little milk, for I feel as if I was — Going. 

Bella (kisses R. W. and makes him drink some milk.) We'll 
break it to you gently, dearest pa. 

R. W. My dear, you broke so much in the first — Gush, if I may 
so express myself — that I think I am equal to a good large brea/i 
age now. 



30 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Eolce. Mr. Wilfer, Bella takes me, though I have no fortune, 
even no present occupation ; nothing but what I can get in the life 
before us. Bella takes me ! {Embraces her.) 

B. W. Yes, I should rather have inferred, my dear sir, that Bella 
took you, from what I have within these few minutes remarked. 

Bella. You don't know, pa, how ill 1 have used hira ! 

Hoke. You don't know, sir, what a heart she has ! 

Bella. You don't know, pa, what a shocking creature I was 
growing, when he saved me from myself! 

Boke. You don't know, sir, what a sacrifice she has mad:? for me ! 

B. W. My dear Bella, and my dear John Rokesmith, if you will 
allow me so to call you — 

Bella. Yes do, pa, do ! 1 allow you, and my will is his law. Isn't 
it — dear John Rokesmith ? (RoKE. embraces Bella again.) 

B. W. I think, my dears, that if you could make it convenient 
to sit one on one side of me, and the other on the other, we should 
get on rather more consecutively, and make things rather plainer. 
(They sit one on each side of R. \V.) John Rokesmith mentioned, 
a while ago, that he had no jiresent occupation. 

Boke. None. 

Bella. No, pa, none. 

B. W. From which I argue that he has left Mr. Boffin. 

Bella. Yes, pa. And so — 

B. W. Stop a bit, my dear. I wish to lead up to it by degrees. 
And that Mr. Boffin has not treated hira well ? 

Bella. Has treated him most shamefully, dear pa ! 

B. W. Of which a certain mercenary young person distantly re- 
lated to myself could not approve ? Am I leading up to it right? 

Bella. Could not approve, sweet pa. 

B. W. Upon which the certain mercenary young person distantly 
related to myself, having previously observed and mentioned to 
myself that prosperity was spoiling Mr. Boffin, felt that she must 
not sell her sense of what was right and what was wrong, and what 
was true and what was fdse, and what was just and what was unjust, 
for any price that could be paid to her by any one alive ? Am I 
leading up to it right ? 

Bella. Yes, pa. 

B. W. And therefore — and therefore this mercenary young per- 
son distantly related to myself refused the price, took off the splen- 
did fashions that were part of it, put on the comparatively poor 
dress that I had last given her, and trusting to my supporting her 
in what was right, came straight to me. Have I led up to it ? 

Bella {stealing her arm round his neck.) Yes, pa dear. 

B. W. The mercenary young person distantly related to myself 
did well ! The mercenary young person distantly related to myself 
did not trust me in vain ! I admire this mercenary young person 
distantly related to myself more in this dress than if she had come 
to me in China silks, Cashmere shawls, and Golconda diamonds. I 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 31 

love this young: person clearly. I say to the man of this young per- 
son's heart, out of my heart and with all of it, " My blessing on this 
engagement betwixt you, and she brings you a good fortune when 
she brings you the poverty she has accepted for your sake and the 
honest truth's ! " (Kisses Bella, and shakes Roke. by the hand. ) 

Bella. Thank you, pa dear, for being so good to your little 
wilful Bella. 

Boke. I thank }-ou, sir, for my Bella and myself. 

B. W. {lightly.) Well, well, now let's be merry. Here is another 
loaf and plenty more milk, and if it isn't a very sumptuous repast, 
we can be just as happy as the three bears in their house in the 
forest. {Laughing.) I'll be the great big large bear. 

Boke {gaily.) And I the middle-sized bear. 

Bella (taking a hand of each.) And 1 the little, small, wee bear. 
Only, pa dear, and John, you must not eat up the poor little wee 
bear, because she's a very weak and silly little bear, and you are 
such great, wise, strong bears. 

Boke. My darling ! 

B. W. My own little Bella ! 

Bella. And now, pa dear, and John, I'll set the stylish table with 
the elegant repast, and we'll all be happy and comfortable. {They 
prepare to eat.) 

Act Drop. 



32 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

ACT IV. 

Scene. — Same as Act I. 

Mrs. Wilfer, sitting l. Lavvy setting table R. c. George S., with 
cane in mouth, extreme R., gazing at Lavvy. R. W. changing 
coat and boots for dressing-gown and slippers, L. C, as curtain 
rises. 

Mrs. W. You do not, R. W., inquire for your daughter Bella. 

R. W. To be sui-e, my dear, I did omit it. How — or perhaps I 
should rather say where — is Bella ? 

Mrs. W. {folding her arms.) Not here. 

E. W. Oh, indeed, my dear ! 

Mrs. W. Not here. In a word, R. W., you have no daughter 
Bella. 

B. W. No daughter Bella, my dear ? 

Mrs. W. No. Your daughter Bella has bestowed herself upon a 
Mendicant. 

B. W. Good gracious, my dear ! 

Mrs. W. Show your father his daughter Bella's letter, Lavinia. 
I think your father will admit it to be documentary proof of what 
I tell him. I believe your father is acquainted with his daughter 
Bella's writing. But 1 do not know. He may tell you he is not. 
Nothing will surprise me. 

Lavcy, {handing letter to R. W.) Posted at Greenwich and dated 
this morning. Hopes Ma won't be angry, but is happily married to 
Mr. John Rokesmich, and didn't mention it beforehand to avoid 
words, and please tell darling you, and love to me, and I should like 
to know what you'd have said if any other unmarried member of 
the family had done it ! {Sits close by George's side with a con- 
descending air.) 

R. W. {reading the letter.) Dear me ! 

Airs. W. You may well say " Dear me ! " 

R. W. Dear me ! 

Mrs. W. You said that before. 

R. W. {sitting.) It's very surprising. But I suppose, my dear, 
that we must make the best of it? Would you object to my point- 
ing out, my dear, that Mr. John Rokesmith is not (so far as I am 
acquainted with him), strictly speaking, a Mendicant. 

lilrs. W. Indeed ? Truly so ? I was not aware that Mr. John 
Rokesmith was a gentleman of landed property. But I am much 
relieved to hear it. 

R. W. {meekly.) I doubt if you have heard it, my dear. 

Mrs. W. Thank you. I make false statements, it appears. So 
be it. If my daughter flies in my face, surely my husband may. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 33 

The one thing is not more unnatural than the other. There seems 
a fitness in the arrani^cment. By all means ! 

Law;/. Ma, I must say I think il would be much better if you 
would keep to the point, and not hold forth about people's flying 
into pcojjle's faces, w'hich is nothing more nor less than impossible 
nonsense. 

Mrs. W. How ! 

Latvij. Just im-pos^ible nonsense, ma ; and Georije Sampson 
knows it is, as well as 1 do. The true point i-, thi.t Bella has be- 
haved iii a most unisteily way to m", and might have severely com- 
promised me with George and with George's family, by making off 
and getting married in this very low and disreputable maimer — 
V ith some pew-opener or other, I suppose, for a bridesmaid — when 
she ought to have confided in me, and ought to have said, " If, 
Lavvy, you consider it due to your engagement with George, that 
you should countenance the occasion by being present, then. Lavvy, 
I beg you to be )}resent, keeping my secret from ma and pa." As 
of course I should have done. 

Mrs. W. As of course you would have done ? Ingrate ! Viper ! 

George S. {risivg and feebly advancing ) I say! You know, 
ma'am. Upon my honor you mustn't. With the highest respect for 
you, ma'am, upon my life you mustn't. No really, you know. 
When a man with the feelings of a gentleman finds himself engaged 
to a young lady, and it comes (even on the part of a member of the 
family) to vipers, you know ! — I would merely put it to your own 
good feeling, you know. (Mrs. W. rises and glares at Geoiige S.) 

Lavvy, {rising and stepping tragically between them.) My own 
unnatural mother wants to annihilate George! But you shan't be 
annihilated, George. I'll die first! {Flings her arms round his 
neck and clings to him with a melodramatic air.) 

George S. {shaking his head at Mrs. W.) With every sentiment 
of respect for you, you know, ma'am — vipers really doesn't do you 
credit. 

Lavvy, {wildly.) You shall not be annihilated, George! Ma 
shall destroy me first, and then she'll be contented. Oh, oh, oh ! 
Have I lured George from his happy home to expose him to this ? 
George dear, be free ! Leave me, ever dearest George, to ma and 
to my fate. Give my love to your aunt, George, and implore her 
not to curse the viper that has crossed your path and blighted your 
existence. Oh, oh, oh! {Falls into mock hysterics in his arms; 
he deposits her in chair C, where she remains moaning and sobbing 
extravagantly.) 

George S. {bending over Lavvy.) Demon — with the highest re- 
spect for you, ma'am — behold your work ! 

Lavvy, {faintly.) George dear, are you safe ? Geoi-ge love, 

what has happened? Where is ma.-* (George assists her to Mrs. 

W., who kisses her forehead ; he then returns her to chair c.) 

George dear, I am afraid I have been foolish ; but I am still a little 

3 



34 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

weak and giddy ; don't let go my hind, George. George dear,, 
after what has passed, I am sure ma will teil pa that he may tell 
Bella we shall all be glad to see her and her husband. 

George S. I am sure of it. I eminently respect Mrs. Wilfcr, 
and ever must, and ever shall. Never more eminently than after 
what has ])asscd. 

Mrs. W. {in a very deep voice.) Far he it from me to run counter 
to the feelings of a child of mine, arid of a Youth who is the object 
of her maiden preference. I may feci — nay, know — that I have 
been deluded and deceived. I may feel — nay, know — that I have 
been set aside and ])assed over. I may feel — nay, know — that 
after having so far overcome my repugnance toward Mr. and Mrs. 
Boffin as to receive them under this roof, and to consent to your 
daughter Bella's residing under theirs, it were well if your daughter 
Bella had profited in a worldly point of view by a connection so dis- 
tasteful, so disreputable. I may feel — nay, know — that in uniting 
herself to Mr. Rokesmith she has united herself to one who is, in 
spite of shallow sophistry, a Mendicant. And I may feel well as- 
sured that your daughter Bella does not exalt her family by be- 
coming a Mendicant's bride. But I suppress what I feel, and say 
nothing of it. 

George S. This is the sort of thing, ma'am, that a man must 
expect, you know, from one who has ever been an example in her 
family, and never an outrage. Never more so, ma'am, than after 
what has passed. I shall never forget, ma'am, the touching feelings 
that your conduct has awakened within me. And Lavinia's also, 
whom I respect with a feeling little less than — divine. Yes, ma'am, 
I hope there isn't a man with a beating heart, ma'am, that isn't ca- 
pable of — yes — of — yes certainly, to be sure. 

{Restores cane to his mouth, and sits confused.) 

Mrs. W. Therefore, R. W., let your daughter Bella come when 
she will, and she will be received. So — so. will her husband. 

Lacvy. And I beg, pa, that you will not tell Bella what I have 
undergone. It can do no good, and it might cause her to reproach 
herself. 

George S. My deaiest girl, she ought to know it. 

Lavvy. No, dearest George, let it be buried in oblivion. 

George S. Too noble ! 

Laevy. Nothing is too noble, dearest George. And I hope, pa, 
that you will avoid mentioning George's rising prospects when Bella 
is present. It might seem like taunting her with her own poor for- 
tunes. Let me ever remember that I am her younger sister, and 
ever spare her painful contrasts, which could not but wound her 
deeply. 

George S. Ah, such is the demeanor of Angels ! 

Lacvy. No, dearest George, I am but too well aware that I am 
merely human. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 35 

Mi's. W. {suddenly turning to R. W.) Can you think of your 
(laughter Bella, and slkep ? 

11. W. {waking.) Yes — I think I can, my dear. 

Mrs. IV. Then I would recommend you, if you have a human 
feeling, to retire to bed. 

R. W. Thank you, my dear ; but I think we will have a little 
supper first. {Goes to table.) 

Lavvy. George ! Ma's chair. (George folloios Mrs. W. to 
table and places chair for her ; she glaring at him. They sit at 
table, Mrs. W. facing audience l. Lavvy same, R. George and 
R. W. beside them in front. Leave space behind table for Bella 
and Roke. R. W. cuts loaf and helps all.) 

Laccy. Now, ma and pa, tell me if I wasn't right about those 
Boffins. George Sampson, speak ! What did I tell vou about those 
Boffins ? 

George S. {murmvring.) Yes, indeed. 

Lavvy. Yes ! I told George Sampson, as George Sampson tells 
you, that those hateful Boffins would pick a quari-el with Bella, as 
soon as her novelty had worn off. (George passes his arm 
round her tcaist, but toithdraws it with a sharp exclamation.) 
You must be careful, George. As I was saying, those Boffins 
have behaved in a detestable manner, and as Bella's sister and 
an engaged young lady — {Geokg^ essays as before) Lookout, 
George, you'll prick yourself again — I feel bound to express 
my opinion of them. 

R. W. Will you have a little of the salad, my dear? 

Mrs. W. I thank you, R. W. 

Lavvy. I wish to goodness, ma, that you'd loll a little. 

Mrs. W. How! Loll! 

Lavvy. Yes, ma. 

Mrs. W. I hope I am incapable of it. 

Lavvy. I am sure you look so, ma. But why one should sit at 
one's own table as if one's under-petticoat was a backboard, I do 
not understand. 

Mrs. W. Neither do I understand how a young lady can mention 
the garment in the name of which you have indulged. I blush for 
you. 

Lavvy. Thank you, ma ; but I can do it for myself, I am obliged 
to you, when there's any occasion. 

George S. After all, you know, ma'am, we all know it's there. 

Mrs. W. AVe know it's there ! 

Lavvy. Really, George, I must say that I don't understand your 
allusions, and that I think you might be more delicate and less per- 
sonal. 

George S. Go it ! Oh yes ! Go it. Miss Lavinia Wilfer ! 

Lavvy. What you may mean, George Sampson, by your omni- 
bus-driving expressions, I cannot pretend to imagine. Neither do 



36 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

I wish to imagine. It is enough for me to know in my own heart 
that I am not going to — ^o it. 

George S. Oh yes ! Thus it ever is. I never — 

Lavvy. If you mean to say that you never brought up a young 
gazelle, you may save yourself the trouble, because nobody supposes 
that you' ever did. We know you better. 

Mrs. W. Mr. Sampson, I cannot permit you to misrepresent the 
intentions of a child of mine. 

Lavvij. Let him alone, nia. It is indifferent to me what he says 
or does. 

George S. Dearest Lavinia, I adore you ! 

Lavvy. Then, if you can't do it in a more agreeable manner, I 
wish you wouldn't. 

George S. I also respect you, ma'am, to an extent which must 
ever be iielow your merits, I am well aware, but still up to an un- 
common mark. I am painfully conscious of my own unworthiness. 
Is it not pardonable if I feel sensitive, ma'am, when I see a disposi- 
tion on the part of my adorable Lavinia to take me up short ? 

Lavvy. George, notwithstanding all these surroundings, I am 
yours — as yet. How long that may last is another question, but 
I am yours as yet. 

Enter Bella and Rokesmith, l. 

Bella. Dearest ma, how do you do, dearest ma P And Lavvy dar- 
ling, how do you do ? And George, how do you do ? And when are 
you going to be married, and how rich are you going to grow ? You 
must tell me all about it presently. {Throws off her hat and sits at 
table.) Dearest pa, how do you do? good dear little pa! John 
dear, kiss Ma and Lavvy, and then we shall all be at home and 
comfortable. (lloKE. kisses Mils. W. and Lavvy, and then sits beside 
Bella.) Now let me pour out the tea. Dearest Ma and Lavvy, you 
both take sugar I know. I didn't before I was married, but I do 
now, because John does. Cut some more bread and butter, John, 
there's a love ! Ma likes hers doubled. And, John dear, did you kiss 
Ma and Lavvy ? Oh you did ? Well, I only asked because I didn't 
see you. 

Lavvy. What's the matter, ma, ain't you well ? 

Mrs. W. {icho has been glaring motionless at Bella.) Doubtless 
I am very well. What should be the matter with me ? 

Lavvy. You don't seem very brisk, ma. 

Mrs. W. Brisk ! brisk ! Whence the low expression, Lavinia ? 
If I am uncomplaining, if I am silently contented with my lot, let 
that suffice for my family. 

George S. Yes, ma'am, to be sure. 

Bella. And now you must tell me, dearest Ma and Lavvy, upon 
your words and honors ! Didn't you for a moment — just a 
moment — think I was a dreadful little wretch when I wrote to say 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 37 

1 had run away? I think it must have made you rather crnss. But 
you see I had "been such a heedless, heartless creature, and had led 
you so to expect that I shouI:l marry for money, that I was sly about 
it, and so I said to John that if he liked to take me without any fuss, 
he might. And as he did like, I let iiim. 

Mis. W. On a day hke this, the mind naturally reverts to papa 
and mamma. (I here allude to my parents.) I was considered tall ; 
perhaps I was. Papa and mamma were unquestionably tall. I have 
rarely seen a finer woman than my mother ; never than my father. 

Lavvij. Whatever grandpapa was, he wasn't a female. 

3Irs. W. Your grandpapa was what I describe him to have been, 
and would have struck any of his grandchildren to the earth who 
presumed to question it. It was one of mamma's cherished hopes 
that I should become united to a tall member of society. M imma 
would appear to have had an indefinable foreboding of what after- 
wards happened, for she would fi equently urge upon me, " Not a 
little man. Premise me, my child, not a little man. Never, never, 
never marry a little man." Among the most prominent members of 
that distinguished circle, was a gentleman measuring six feet four 
in height. He was not an engraver. 

George S. No, ma'am, of course not. 

Mrs. W. This gentleman was so obliging as to honor me with 
attentions which I could not fail to understand. 

George S. When it comes to that you know, you can always 
tell, ma'am. 

Mrs. W. I immediately announced to both my parents that those 
attentions were misplaced, and that I could not favor his suit. They 
inquired was he too tall ? I replied it was not the stature, but the 
intellect was too lofty. I well remember mamma's clasping her hands, 
and exclaiming " This will end in a little man ! " Within a month 
I first saw R. W., my husband. Within a year I married him. It 
is natural for the mind to recall these dark coincidences on the 
present day. 

B. W. My dear, I am really afraid you are not enjoying yourself. 

Mrs. W. On the contrary, R. W., quite so. 

Bella. And now you will naturally want to know, dearest ma and 
Lavvy, how we live and what we have got to live upon. Well ! 
And so we live on Blackheath, in the charm-ingest of dolls' houses, 
de-lightfully furnished ; and we have a hundred and fifty pounds a 
year, and we have all we want, and more. And lastly, if you would 
like to know in confidence, as perhaps you may, what is my opinion 
of my husband, my opinion is — that I almost love him ! 

Boke. And if you would like to know in confidence, as perhaps 
you may, my opinion of my wife, my opinion is — 

Bella. Stop, sir ! No, John dear ! Seriously ! Please not yet 
a while ! I want to be something so much worthier than the doll ia 
the dolls' house. 

Boke. My darling, are you not ? 



38 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

Bella. Not half, not a quarter, so much worthier as I hope you 
will some day find me ! Try me through some reverses, John, and 
tlien tell me what you think of me. 

Pioke. I will, my Life. I promise it. 

Bella. That's my d ar John ! And you won't speak a word now ; 
will you ? 

Boke. And I won't speak a word now ! 

Bella. I'll go further, Pa, and Ma, and Lavvy. John don't 
suspect it — he has no idea of it — but I quite love him ! 

licike. And nmv may I speak a word, my dear ? 

Bella. Yes, John dear, now I'll allow you. 

Boke. (rishifju) My love, now that we are all here together, and 
so h;ippy and contented, I have a little surprise for you. 

Bella, Another surprise, John ? 

Boke. Yes. (Goes io door L. and admits Mr. and Mrs. Bof- 
fin.) And I hope a pleasant one. 

Bella (rising and meeting Mrs. B.) Dear, kind Mrs. Boffin. 

Mrs. B. My dearest dear darling, sweet pretty pretty. (Em- 
braces BelL-^.) And here is Noddy too, my child; don't you see 
him ? 

Bella. Yes, but — I thought — 

Air. B. (shaking her by the hand.) Never mind what you thought, 
Bella my dear. Ha ! ha ! John understands all about it ; so does 
the old lady. 

Bella. John understands ? But what does it all mean ? 

B. IV. (bringing chairs forward, c.) Hadn't you better .offer your 
visitors some chairs, my dear ? 

Bella. Yes, pa ; but — I am so bewildered, I quite forgot. 

Mrs. B. Come, deary, sit right here by me ; and John you sit 
the other side ; and then we shall be comfortable. 

(Mrs. B. and Bella sit in chairs c. RoKE. sits at 
Bella's left. Mr. B. sits R. c.) 

Mrs. W. (advancing down C) Pardon me ! But when persons 
comparatively unknown to this household enter here, after wiiat has 
transpired in regard to my daughter Bella, it were surely fitting in 
one who claims to be a parent, though a humble one, to seek to 
know their design. 

Mr. B. (rising and shaking Mrs. W.'s hand.) I hope you'll ex- 
cuse us, ma'am, and I'm sure you will after you've heard the story. 
Lord bless us, the old lady'U fix it up in a minute. 

Mrs. W. Pardon me! but it were — 

Lavvy. Oh lor, ma, don't make such a fuss about nothing. 

Mrs. W. How! 

Lavvy. I say don't make such a fuss about just nothing at all; 
and pray don't stand staring at me in that intensely aggravating 
manner ! If you see a black on my nose, tell me so ; if you 
don't, leave me alone. 

Mrs. W. Do you address Me in those words ? Do you presume ? 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEXD. 39 

Lavvy. Don't talk about presuming, ma, for goodness sake ! A 
girl who is old enough to be engaged, is quite old enough to object 
to be stared at as if she was a Clock. 

Mrs. W. Audacious one ! Your grandmamma, if so addressed 
by one of her daughters, at any age, would have insisted on her re- 
tiring to a dark apartment. 

Lavvy. My grandmamma wouldn't have stood staring people 
out of countenance, I think. 

Mrs. W. She would ! 

Lavvy. Then it's a pity she didn't know better. A pretty exhibi- 
tion my grandmamma must have made of herself! I wonder 
whether she ever insisted on peo])le's retiring into the ball of St. 
Paul's ; and if she did, how she got them there ! 

Mrs. W. Silence ! I command silence ! 

Lavvy. I have not the slightest intention of being silent, ma, 
but quite the contrary. I am not going to be eyed as if I was a nat- 
ural curiosity, and sit silent under it. I am not going to have George 
Sampson eyed, and sit silent under it. 

Oeorge 8. No, certainly not, ma'am, you know. 

Mrs. W. If Mr. George Sampson, as a friend of this family, 
chooses to join with other members in setting aside and passing 
over your wife, R. W., she has nothing to say. It is quite fitting 
and appropriate, R. W. 

R. W. (bringing chair forward to K. c.) My dear, will you have 
a chair.P 

Mrs. W. Thank you, R. W., no ! My place is not here. 

(Mrs. W. turns, walks to extreme R. and sits stiffly. Lavvy 
and George S. push back table and clear it during the 
following.) 

B. W. {sitting R. c.) Just as you like, my dear. 

(A pause, during which Mrs. B. rocks herself back and 
forward, laughing, clapping her hands, and embracing 
Bella by turns.) 

Mr. B. {sitting R. c.) Old lady, old lady, if you don't begin, some- 
body else must. 

Mrs. B. I"m agoing to begin. Noddy, my dear ; only it isn't easy 
for a person to know where to begin, when a person is in this state 
of delight and happiness. Bella, my dear — tell me, who's this ? 
{pointing to RoKESMlTH.) 

Bella. Who's this ? My husband. 

Mrs. B. Ah ! But tell me his name, deary ! 

Bella. Rokesmilh. 

Mrs. B. No, it ain't ! Not a bit of it. 

Bella (bewildered.) At least his name is John, I suppose? 

Mrs. B. Ah! I should think so, deary! I should hope so! 
Many and many is the time I have called him by his name of John. 
But what's his other name, his true other name ? Give a guess, my 
pretty ! 



40 OUR MUTUAL FRIEXD. 

Bella (faintly.) I can't guess. 

Mis. B. I eoulci, and what's more, I did ! I fouad him out, all 
in a flash as I may say, one night. Didn't I, Noddy ? 

Mr. B. Ay •' That the old'^ lady did ! 

Mrs. B. Harkee to me, deary. It was after a particular night 
when John had been disappointed — as he thought — in his affec- 
tions. It was after a night when John hud made an offer to a cer- 
tain young lady, and the certain young lady had refused it. It was 
the very next nigiit. My Noddy wanted a paper out of his Secre- 
tary's room, and I says to Noddy, " I am going by the door, and 111 
ask hini for it." I tapped at his door, and he didn't hear me. I 
looked in, and saw him a-silting lonely by his fire, brooding over it. 
He chanced to look up with a pleased kind of smile in my company 
when he saw me, and then in a single moment, Bella my precious, I 
knew him ! Yes ; too many a time had I seen him, when he was a 
little child, in need of being brightened up with a comforting word! 
Too many and too many a time to be mistaken, when that glimpse 
of him come at last! No, no ! I knew it was John! So what 
might you think by this time that your husband's name was, dear? 

Bella. Not Harmon .'' That's not possible ! 

Mrs. B. Don't tremble. Why not possible, deary, when so many 
things are possible ? 

Bella. He was killed. 

Mrs. B. Thought to be. But if ever John Harmon drew the 
breath of life on earth, that is certainly John Harmon's arm round 
your waist now, my pretty. If ever John Harmon had a wife on 
earth, that wife is certainly you. 

Bella. John, O John ! I — cannot understand it all. 

Bok-e. My darling, what Mrs. Boffin says is true. I was sup- 
posed to be killed, and was even suspected of my own murder ; but 
I am John Harmon, the very John Harmon who was left to you in 
old Mr. Harmon's will. 

Bella. Oh, I see it all now ! Dear, good, unselfish John ! You 
gave up everything, name, ^rtune, and position, for my sake — that 
I might not be forced into marrying you, you dear, splendid old 
John! 

Boke. Yes, you have guessed the secret, dear. 

Mrs. W. It seems, R. W., that your daughter Bella's husband is 
not what he has hitherto represented himself to be. You will per- 
haps remember my dark forebodings at the hour when he entered 
our abode. 

B. W. But, my dear, think how much better it is for Bella and 
all of us. 

Lavvy. Yes, ma, think of being deprived of the privilege of being 
a Mendicant's mamma ! 

Mrs. W. Peace, Lavinia ! It is as you think, R. W., not as I do. 

Mrs. B. But that isn't all yet, my beauty. Bless you, it wa.sn't 
John only that was in the secret. We was all of us in it. 



OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 41 

Bella. But — I don't understand — 

Mrs. B. Of course you don't, my deary. How can you till you're 
told ! So now I am going to tell you. Once, twice, three times, 
and the horses is off. Here they go ! When Noddy and me found 
out that this was our little John, and that we was living on his 
rightful property, you should have seen how frightened ray Noddy 
was ; and says lie. " Old lady, we must give it all back to John and 
make him happy." But you see John wouldn't do that on account 
of a certain lovely wom;m. This naturally brings up a confabula- 
tion regarding the certain fair young person ; when Noddy gives 
it as his opinion that she is a deary creetur. " She may be a leetle 
spoilt, and nat'rully spoilt," he says, " by circumstances, but that's 
only on the surface ; and I lay my life," he says, " that she's the 
true golden gold at heart." 

Mr. B. That's it, that's it ! And you said so too, old lady. 

Mrs. B. Don't you mind him, my dear ; stick to me. Then says 
John, O, if he could but prove so ! Then we both of us ups and says 
that minute, "Prove so!" "What will content you ?" says we. 
" If she was to stand up for you when you was slighted, if she was 
to show herself of a generous mind when you was oppressed, if she 
was to be truest to you when you was poorest and friendliest, and 
all this against her own seeming interest, how would that do ? " 
" Do ! " says John ; " it would raise me to the skies." 

Mr. B. " Then," says I, " make your preparations for the ascent, 
John, it being my firm belief that up you go." 

Mrs. B. And then he began, Bella my precious ; and Lord bless 
us, how he did begin ! 

Mr. B. I was a i-egular grisly old growler, wasn't I, Bella my 
dear ? Ha, ha ! " Mew," says the cat, " Bow wow," says the dog, 
"Quack quack," says the duck. Ha! ha! ha! {^Walks about, 
laughing.) 

Bella {risi7ig.) Oh, now I see it all. You dear, dear Mr. BofRn ! 
You didn't mean it, after all. ( Goes to him and shakes his hand in 
both of hers.) And, Mrs. Boffin, how kind and good you were to 
me when I was such a little wretch. {Embraces her ; she rises.) 
And John too, all of you doing everything to bring good-for-nothing 
little me to my senses. {Going to R. W.,who rises.) Pa dear, why 
is it that you all have been so kind and considerate with me ? Dear, 
good little Pa ! And Ma dear, now you see how good and kind my 
Mr. and Mrs. Boffin have been to me. 

Airs. W. {rising.) The claims of Mr. and Mrs. Boffin upon my 
child are doubtless of paramount importance. It is quite fitting, 
R. W., that such should be the case. 

Bella. But is the story done? Is there no more of it? 

Mrs. B. What more of it should there be, deary ? 
. Bella. Are you sure you have left nothing out of it ? 

Mrs. B. 1 don't think I have. 

Bella. Then, sir, please, I've something to say to you. {Ih Mr. 



42 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 

B., uiho stands c.) Please I beg your pardon, and I made a small 
mistake of a word when I took leave of you last. Please I have 
found out something not yet mentioned. Please I don't believe 
you are a hard-hearted miser at all, and please I don't believe you 
ever for one single minute were ! 

Mrs. B. That's it, my deary ; he pretended it all, and O my, how 
he did it! 

Mr. B. I assure you, my dear, that on that celebrated day I 
made what has since been agreed upon to be my grandest demon- 
stration — I allude to Mew says the cat. Quack quack says the duck, 
and Bow-wow-wow says the dog. Never thought of it afore the 
moment, my dear ! When John said, if he had been so happy as 
to win your affections and possess your heart, it come into my head 
to turn round upon him with " Win her affections and possess her 
heart ! Mew says the cat. Quack quack says the duck, and Bow-wow- 
wow says the dog." I couldn't tell you how it come into my head 
or where from, but it had so much the sound of a rasper that I own 
to you it astonished myself. I was awful nigh bursting out 
a-laughing though, when it made John stare ! Ha, ha, ha ! 

Mrs. B. Well now. my dear, here we all are, and your mother 
and father 's agreed, and Noddy and me 's so happy in telling you, 
and the horses is in, and the story is done, and God bless you, my 
Beauty, and God bless us all. 

Mrs. Boffin. Bella. 

Mr. Boffin. Rokesmith. 

R. WiLFER. Lavvy. 

Mrs. WiLFER. Geo. Sampson. 

Curtain. 



Always Get the Best. 50 of the Choicest Selections in the 



M 



Reading Club and Handy Speaker. 



Edited by Geokge M. Bakisr. 
■e, cloth, SO cents; paper, IS cents. 
CONTENTS. 



The Red Jacket .... 


George M. Baker. 


Old Age 




Miihmoud 


Leigh Hunt. 


The Closet Scene from "Hamlet" 




How he saved St. Michael's . 


Aldine. 


Samson 




The Story of the Bad Little Boy who 
didn't come to Grief. 


Mark Ticain. 


Mr. Caudle and his Second Wife . 


Douglas JerrokVs Fireside Saints 


Taiiler 


Whitticr. 


The Doorstep 


E. 0. Stedman. 


Old Farmer Gr.iy gets photographed 

Mr. O'Gallagher's Three Koads to 

Learning 


Capt. Murryat. 


The Jester's Sermon 


Walter- Thornburij. 


'< The Boofer Lady "... 


Dickens's " Mutual Friend."* 


Deliunco of Harold the Dauntless . 


Scott. 


Battle Hymn 


Korner. 


The Story of the Faithful Soul 


Adelaide Procter. 


" Curfew must not ring To-ISTight " 




The Showman's Courtship 




How Terry saved his Bacon . 




The Senator's Pledge 


Charles Sumner. 


Overthrow of Belshazzar 


Harry Cornwall. 


The Hour of Prayer 


Mrs. Ilcmam. 


The Squire's Story .... 


John Phaenix. 


The Happiest Couple 


Sheridan. 


Godiva 


Tennyson. 


Farmer Bent's Sheep-Washing . 
The Deutsch Maud MuUer . 




Cart Prctsel. 


Charles Sumner .... 


Carl Schurz. 


The Bricklayers . • . . 


G. H. Barnes. 


A Stranger in the Pew . 


Harper's 3Iag. 


The Mistletoe-Bough . . . 


Bayley. 


Tlie Puzzled Census-Taker . 


J. G. Saxe 


The Voices at the Throne 


I. Westwood. 


Hans Breitmann's Party . 


Charles G. Leland. 


Hob Roy MacGregor 


Walter Scott. 


Der Drummer 




The Yankee and the Dutchman's Dog 




Popping the Question . 




The Bumpkin's Courtship 




The Happy Life . . . . 


Sir Henry Wotton. 


At the Soldiers' Graves . 


Robert Collyer. 


Nobody there 


Anoni/mous. 


The Factory-Girl's Diary 


. Morton. 


Jn the Tunnel ..... 




"Jones" 




The Whistler 




" Good and Better "... 





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LEF & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. 



Toa will find one of your Favorites among 50 of the Choicest 

Selections In the 



M 



Reading Club and Handy Speaker, 



Eilited by George M. Baker. 

Price, cloth, 60 cents; paper. Id cents. 

CONTENTS. 



John Brownjohn. 

DickeiiK. 

Mm. II. A. Bingham, 

Elisabeth Kilhum. 

It. II. Stodihird. 

John II. Yates. 

Miss Mnloch. 

Shakspeare. 

John G. Whittier, 

John G. Saxe. 
Mark Twain. 

Alfred Perceval GraMI, 

Priest. 

Sheridan Knowlet. 



The Rescue .... 
The I'ickwickians on Ice . 

A Picture 

Tube's Monument 

The Two Anchors .... 

The Old Ways and the New . 

By the Ahna River . 

Trial Scene from "Merchant of V 

The Sisters .... 

Farm- Yard Song ... 

The Fortune-Hunter . . 

Curing a Cold .... 

In the Bottom Drawer 

Two Irish Idyls 

Over the Ri;'er . . . . , 

The Modest Cousin . . . , 

Biddy's Troubles ... 

The Man with a Cold in his Head 

Harry and I . . . . 

The Shadow on the Wall 

The Little Puzzler . 

A Traveller's Evening Song . 

Calling a Boy in the Morning . 

Cooking and Courting 

A Tragical Tale of the Tropics 

The Paddock Elms ... 

The Bobolink .... 

Toothache .... 

The Opening of the Piano 

Press On .... 

The Beauty of Youth 

Queen Mab . . . .' 

A Militia General 

Address of Spottycus 

Our Visitor, and what he came for 

" What's the Matter with that Nose 

Workers and Thinkers 

The Last Ride . 

Baby Atlas 

Possession 

There is no Death 

The Learned Negro 

Nearer, my God, to Thee 

A Short Sermon 

&oin' Home To-day 

The Broken Pitcher 

A Baby's Soliloquy 

The Double Sacrifice 

Sunday Morning 

The Quaker Meeting 

9old by all booksellers and newsdealers, or sent by mail on receipt cfpri*^ 

LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. 



Sarah M. B. PiaU. 
Mrs. Uemans. 



B. E. Wool/. 
Aldine. 

Atlantic Monthly. 
Park Benjamin. 
Theodore Parker, 
liomeo and Juliet. 
Thomas Concin. 



Chtr Fat Contributor. 

Riiskin. 

Mora Perry. 

(keen Meredith. 

Sir E. Bulwcr Lytton. 

Congregationalist. 

Sarah F. Adams. 

Not hxi a Ilard-Shell Baptist 

W. M. Carleion. 

Anonymous. 

Arthur William Austin. 
George A. Bakir, Jan. 
Samuel Lover. 



You will find the Piece you are looking for among SO of the Choicest 
Selections in the 



!fo.3 



Reading Club and Handy Speaker. 



Edited by George M. Baker. 

Price, cloth, SO cents; paper, IS cents. 

CONTENTS. 



Man 



Fra Giixcomo 

Bob Ci-iitchit's Christmas-Dinner 

TlK- First Snow-Fall . 

TliL' CJuuiitcss and the Serf 

Aurelia's Unfortunate Youn; 

Losj^es .... 

Mad Luce 

The Sokmn Book-Agent 

What the Old Man said 

Bone and Sinevv and Brain 

I'at and the OyKtors 

Twilight 

Tlie Singer . 

Speech of the Tlon. Ptrvese Pcahody on 

llie Acquisition of Cuba 
Bunker Hill .... 
Two Births .... 
The Old Fogy Man 
Auction Mad .... 
The Wedding. Fee . 
Sclineider's Tomatoes . 
The Wolves .... 
The Ballad of the Oysterman 
Th(! Decklland and the Mule 
A Lay of Ileal Life 
Kidiiig Down .... 
The Minute-men of 75 
Uncle Reuben's Baptism 
How I'ersimmons took Cah ob der Baby 
The Evils of Ignorance 
Scenes from the School of Reform 

Ambition 

The Victories of Peace 

For Love 

'J'he Flower-Mission, junior 

The Sons of New England . 

The .lonesville Singin' Quire 

The Last Tilt .... 

The Burial of the Dane 

Appeal in Behalf of American Liberty 

The Church of the Best Licks . 

The Roman Soldier. Destruction of 

culaueum .... 

Temperance 

Uoast Pig. A Bit of Lamb . 
Siniilia Similibus .... 
Two Loves and a Life . 
The Recantation of Galileo . 

Mosquitoes 

The Law of Kindness ; or, The Old 

man's Ii;iilway Signal . 

Ode 

Mr. Stiver's Horse 



StUi by 



Her- 



Hohert Buchanan. 
IJUkenx. 

■Jumen /itmse/l Loivelt. 
J. Shividun Knoioles. 
Mark Tuain. 
Francis lironme. 
All the Year Hound. 
Dftroil Free Press. 
Alice Hobbins. 
John Boyle O'Reilly. 

Spanish Oijpsy. 
Alice Williams. 



George IT. Calvert. 
Charles J, Sprague. 



Wo-j 



R jr. Streeter. 
Charles F. Adams. 
J. T. Trowbridge. 
Oliver Wendell Ifolmea. 

Tom ITood. 
Nora Perry. 
George William Curtis. 
Vicksburg Herald. 
St. Nicholas. 
Horace Mann. 
Thomas Morton. 
Ill nry Clay. 
Charles Sumner. 

Earl Marble. 

lion, George B. Loring. 

My Opinions and Betsey BobbH, 

Henry B. Hirst. 

llmry Howard Brownell. 

Story. 

Edward Eggleston. 

Atherslone. 

Wendell Phillips. 

Charles Lamb. 

William Saroyer. 

Francis E. Raleigh. 

K. K. 

Elihu Burritt. 

George Sennott. 

The hanbury Neios Man. 



booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on 
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Ho, 



It you are looking for Something New, you will find tt among 
^ 50 of the Choicest Selections in the 

Eeading Club and Handy Speaker. 

Edited by George M. Baker. 
rrice, vloth, 60 cenU; paper, IS cents. 
CONTENTS. 



The Tramp 

Joan of Arc 

Dfcoration 

Minot's Ledge . • ,; , 

Scene from " The Hunchback 

Widder Green's Last Words 

The Cane-Bottomed Chair 

The House-Top Saint . 

Tom . . . • 

The Song of the Dying . 

Mv Neighb^.'s Baby 

" The I'aper Don't Say " 

The Po8t-Boy . . 

What is a Minority? 

Itobert of Lincoln . 

Daddy Worthless . 

Zenobia's Defence . 

William Tell . . 

Mary Maloney's Philosophy 

Custer's Last Charge 

Mother's Fool • ^ • •, , 

The Little Black Eyed Rebel 

" The Palace o' the King " 

Grandfather . • . • 

" Business " in Mississippi 

The Indian's Claim . 

The Battle-Flag of Sigurd 

The Way Astors are Made 

Mr. W:itkins celebrates . 

Tlie Palmetto .and the Pine 

Pip's Fi^'ht . . • • 

Cuddle Doon . . . 

The Hot Itoasted Chestnut . 

St. John the Aged . 

The Bell of Atri 

Mr. O'HooUihan's Mistake 

The Little Hero . _• 

The Village Sewing-riociety 

He Giveth His Beloved Sleep 

The Dignity of Labor . 

A Little Shoe . . • 

" The Penny Ye Meant to 'ii < 

A Question 

The Cobbler's Secret 

The Lost Cats . • • 

The Pride of Battery B . 

Leedle Y.awcob Strauss . 

Two Portraits . 

Elder Sni tiles' Courtship 

Goin' Somewhere . 

Sold by all booksellers and 



George 3r. Baker. 

JJeQtiincey. 

T. W. Iligginwn. 

Filsjumes O'Brien. 

Sheridan Knowles. 

Thackeray. 

Mrs. J. D. Chaplin. 

Constance Fenhnori 



Mrs. C. J. Despard. 

J. B. Gough. 

Bryant. 

Lizzie W. Champney. 

William Ware. 

Ph ila delph ia Bn Uetin. 
Frederick Whittuker. 

Will Carleton. 
William Mitchell. 
Theodore Parker. 
Chronicle, Augusta, 6a. 

Everett. 

J. M. Bailey. 

Detroit Press. 

Mrs. Virginia L. French. 

Dickens. 

Alexander Anderson. 

J. Ed. Milliken. 



Longfellow. 



Rev. Kevoman Halt. 

n.n. 



F. TT. Gassavay. 
Charles F. Adams. 



L,EE 



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The Freshest, Brightest, and Best, are the 50 Choice^ 
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Eeading Club and Handy Speaker. 



Edited by George M. Baker. 

Price, cloth, 60 cenU; paper, 16 cents. 

CONTEXTS. 



Thomas S. Collier. 
" Manxie Wu^ich." 
Margaret Vandegrift. 
T. W. fligginson. 



IIurper'B Magazine. 

Char lex Follen Adam*. 
Earl Marhle. 
R. U. Stoddard. 



The Ballad of Ronald Clare . 

The Scotchman at the Play . 

The Dead Doll 

A Charge with Prince Rupert 

An Irish Wake 

The IJonest Deacon 

JTact and Talent 

The Two Glasses . 

Whistling in Heaven 

Koble Revenge 

Dot Baby off Mine. (By permission) 

The Amateur Spelling-Match 

Why Biddy and Pat got Married 

Art-Matters in Indiana . 

Miss Edith helps Things along 

The Flood and the Ark . 

Not Dead, but Risen 

Ballad of a Baker . 

Five ...... 

Uncle Remus' Revival ITymn 

A Mysterious Disappearance 

An Indignation-Meeting. 

Something Spilt 

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous 

" 'tis but a Step " 
Scene from " The Marble Heart" , 
The Seven Ages ... 
A Watch that " wanted cleaning." 

(By permission) 
Tired Mothers .... 

Good-by 

*' One of the Boys " 

The Bridge .... 

A Rhino Legend 

The Little Shoes did it . 

Burdock's Goat 

Faithful Little Peter 

Blue and Gray 

Mollie, or Sadie? . 

Butterwick's Weakness . 

Between the Lines . 

Somebody's Mother 

The Ballad of Constance 

Failed 

The Canteen .... 

A Blessing on the Dance 

An Exciting Contest 

The Last Redoubt . 

" If We Knew "... 

Scene from " London Assurance " 

The Kaiser's Feast . 

Sidewaj-8 

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Charles Dickens' Pickwick Papers, 



Charles Selby. 
Shakspeare. 
J. T. Fields. 



Frank Foxcroft. 



IT. W. Longfellow. 
Curtis Guild. 



William, Winter. 



a O. Ilalpine {Miles O'lieilly'). 
Irwin Russell. 



Alfred Austin. 



e, 



6 



The Best Yet. 50 Rare Selections. 

Reading Club and Handy Speaker. 

Edited by George M. Baker. 
Price, cloth, 60 cents ; paper, 16 cents. 



CONTENTS. ; 

Count Eberhard's Last Foray Thos. S. Collier. 

'J'ammy's Prize 

Deaf and Dumb Anna F. Bumham. 

Tlie Changed Cross ■ 

Virginius to the Roman Army Elijah Kellogg. 

The Fountain of Youth Uezekiah Buticrvoorth. ' 

They Met J 

Clerical Wit \ 

Greeley's Ride Mark Twain. i 

Der Shoemaker's Poy ' 

'J'he Sergeant of the Fiftieth 

The Fan Drill Spectator. * 

Warning to Woman 

The Cavalry Charge F. A. Ihtrivage. \ 

Widow Stebbins on Homoeopathy Churle-i F. Adams. j 

The Fight at L«okout IL L. Can/, Jun. '. 

The Well-Digger John G. Saxe. \ 

Behind Time Freeman Hunt. 'i 

A Miracle Charles U. Webber. 1 

Weaving the Web 

The Great Future George F. Iloar. - 

A Christmas Carol j 

"Them Yankee Blankits" Samuel W. Small. j 

Jim Lane's Last Message Sherman 1). Richardson. \ 

One Touch of Nature i 

A Disturbance in Church Max Adeler. \ 

The Palmer's Vision J. G. JluUand. a 

A " Sweeter Revenge " j 

The Farmer's Story David Hill. --j 

Paddy O'Rafther Samuel Lover. i 

The Fireman's Prayer Russell If. Contoell. j 

Down with the' Heathen Chinee! 2i'etv- York Sun. 

John Chinaman's Protest M. F. I). j 

The Sweet Singer of Michigan • 

Ten Years After Kate Pntvam Osgood. \ 

Putty and Varnish Josh Biltiiigs. ,, 

Nationality Rufus Chmite. . 

Tacking Ship off Shore Walt<r MiUhel. \ 

Immortality PUillijis Brooks. 

Mr. Coviile Proves Mathematics J. M. BuiUtj. '• 

Blind Ned Iricin Russdl. 

The Benediction Francois Coppee. 

" (\>nriucred at Last" Maria L. Fve. i 

The Ship-Boy's Letter I 

An Irish Lovc-Letter George M. Baker. j 

Reserved Power I 

'J'alk about Shooting \ 

The King's Kiss Nora Perry. ; 

Joe's Bespeak : 

A Disturbed Parent i 

Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on , 

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LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers. Boston. "^ 




COMPILED BY HIMSELF. 
Comprising the Fainoiis Amej'ican Readings. 

In Neat Paper Covers. Price, 15 cts. Each. 

IICHOLAS NICKLEBY (at the Yorkshire School). 
THE STORY OF LITTLE DOMBRY. 
MR. BOB SAWYER'S PARTY. 
A CHRISTMAS CAROL. 
DR. MARIGOLD. 

BOOTS AT THE H jLLY TREE INN. 
NICHOLAS NIC<LEBY (short reading). 
BARDELL AND PICKWICK. 
DAVID COPHERFIELD. 
WftS. GA^t?. 
This style, for the use of readers and schools, is xiOTc'ii.j Oi examination. 
Also, in one handsome i2mo volume, illustrated, $1-50. 



The Indepejideut Household Dickens. 

IHARLES mCKENn fORKS. 

[ nezv editi07i tfi fifteen \27no vols. Elegantly botnid and handsomely 
illustrated. 

Price per Volume, $1.50. 



DAVID COPPERFIELD. 
PICKWICK PAPERS. 
DOMBEY AND SON. 
OLD CURIOSITY SHOP. 
OLIVER TWIST. 
CHRISTMAS STORIES. 
EDWIN DROOD. 
CHILD'S HIST. OF ENG. 



TALE OF TWO CITIES. 
NICHOLAS NICKLEBY. 
LITTLE DORRITT. 
BLEAK HOUSE. 
GREAT EXPECTATIONS. 
OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. 
MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT. 
BARNABY RUDGE. 



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r separate volumes, the publishers offer the best edition for the price 
1 the roarket. 



LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, ! 

41-45 FRANKLIN ST., BOSTON. 



flhy^ fof Snikteuf ¥l\ektfidkl^. 

BY GEORGE M. BAKER, 

Author of ''Amateur Dramas," " The Mimic Stage," " The Social Stage," " The Drawing- Room 
Stage," " Handy Dramas," " JTie Exhibition Drama," "^ Bakers Dozen," &c. 

Titles in this Type are IVew Plays. 

Titles in this Tyne are Temperance Plays. 



In Three Acts. Cis. 

Tlie Flo^ver of tlie Family. 5 

male, 3 female char 15 

Enlisted for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- 
male characters IS 

My Brother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char 15 

The Zittle Brown Jug. 5 male, 3 

female char 15 

/« Ttv,/ Acts. 

Above the Clouds. 7 male, 3 female 
characters 15 

One Hundred Years Aj^o. 7 male, 
4 female char 15 

Among the Breakers. 6 male, 4 female 
char 15 

Bread on the Waters. 5 male, 3 female 
char IS 

Down by the Sea. 6 male, 3 female 
char 15 

Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. 15 

The Last Loaf, 5 male, 3 female char. 15 
O /« One Act. 

Stand by the Flag. 5 male char . c . 15 

The Tempter. 3 male, i female char. 15 

COMEDIES AND FARCES. 

A Mysterious Disappearance. 4 

male, ^ female char 15 

Paddle Your Own Canoe. 7 male, 
% female char 15 

A Drop too Much. 4 male, 2 female 
characters. 'S 

A JAttle SLore Cider. 5 male, 3 fe- 
ma e char 15 

A Thokn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 

female char 15 

Never Say Die. 3male, 3 female char. 15 
Seeing the Elephant. 6 male, 3 female 

char 15 

The Boston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. 15 
Thu Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- 
male char IS 

Thirty Minutes for Refreshments. 

i t.i lie. 3 tL-male char 15 

We'ri'. all Teetotalers. 4 male, 2 fe- 
male char 15 

3Iale Characters Only. 

A Close Shave. 6 char 15 

A Public Benefactor. 6 char 15 

A Sea of Troubles. 8 char 15 

A Tender Attachment. 7 char. ... 15 

C' Ai.s OF Fire. 6 char 15 

FREEDOivi OF thb Pkess. 8 char. . . • 15 



COMEDIES, Sic, continued. 

Shall Our Mothers VoteP n char. 
Gentlemen of the Jury, 12 char, - . 
Humors of ^ he Strike. 8 char. . . 
My Uncle the Captain. 6 char. . . 
New Brooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . 

The Great Elixir. 9 char 

The Hypochundriac. s char 

The Man with the Demijohn. 4 

char. ... 

The Runaways 4 char 

The Thief OF Time. 6 char 

Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. . . . 

Female Characters Only. 
A Love of a Bonnet, s char. . . . 

A Precious Pickle. 6 char 

No Cure no Pay. 7 char 

The Champion of Her Sex. 8 char. . 
The Greatest Plague in Life. 8cha. 

The Grecian Bend. 7 char 

The Red Chignon. 6 char. .... 
Using the Weed. 7 char. 

ALLEGORIES. 

Arranged for Music and Tableaux. 

Lightheart's Pilgrimage. 8 female 
char 15 

The Revolt of the Bees. 9 female 
char 15 

The Sculptor's Triumph, i male, 4 fe- 
male char is 

The Tournament of Idylcourt. io 
female char 15 

The War of the Roses. 8 female char. 15 

MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. 

An Original Idea, i male, i female 
char, 15 

Bonbons ; or, the Paint King. 6 male, 
I female char. 2$ 

Capuletta ; or, Romeo and Juliet 
Restored. 3 male, i female char. . 15 

Santa Claus' Frolics xs 

Snow-bound ; or, Alonzo the Brave 
AND the Fair Imogene. 3 male, i 
female char A ' *5 

The Merry Christmas of the Old 
Woman who lived in a Shoe. . . 15 

The Pkdler of Very Nice. 7 male 
char ^ • •• • 'S 

The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertain- 
ment. Numerous male and female char. 15 

Too Late for the Train. 2 male char. 15 

Thb Visions of Freedom, h female 
char. 



tREEDOiVl OF THB i-KEb*. o cu<u. ...*;> «~— . •",.-- (. 

T^_ Geo. M. Baker & Co Al-4b Franklin St. BnsTon. 



i^ 



Baker's Humorous Dialogues. 
Baker's Humorous Olaloftues. 



Male characters only. 5 
Female characters only* 



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ssaent 




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